The Blaine Anderson Effect
by madsanderson
Summary: Some people want to forget the past. Some people want to change it. Kurt Hummel is one of the latter.
1. As Long As You're Mine

**Plot Summary: **After experiencing the worst day of his life, Kurt Hummel begins to relive the same day over and over again. However, each time, the day changes slightly, and Kurt begins to realize that he might have the ability to change the past in order to correct his future.

* * *

><p>"Do you <em>have<em> to go back to school right away?" Blaine practically begged Kurt, pulling on his hand and dragging Kurt closer to him and farther away from the parking lot where his car was waiting to take him back to McKinley and away from Blaine once again.

"Yes Blaine, not all of us get to start summer break a week ahead of public schools" Kurt said, laughing and allowing Blaine to wrap his arms around his waist. He liked the feeling of being held by Blaine. As the smaller boy squeezed him tight, Kurt was finding it very difficult to justify going back to school.

"_Please?_ You only have a week left and it's not like you have exams or anything… You're already done with Glee with Nationals being over and everything…" Blaine continued. He really _really _didn't want Kurt to go. Especially after just telling him that he loved him.

"Blaine" Kurt whined, "Stop having such a convincing argument, I really can't stay! Sam and Mercedes left ages ago and I don't want to get in trouble my last week of junior year"

"You won't get in trouble" Blaine grinned at Kurt and then quickly planted a kiss on his cheek.

"_You'll_ be in trouble if you make me late" Kurt teased. "I'm not going to be very happy if I have to have detention _this_ close to summer" Kurt said, indicating the 'this close' with his thumb and forefinger.

Nonetheless, Kurt smiled at Blaine and leaned in to give him a kiss on the lips. He brought his hands to Blaine's face and smiled into the kiss, grinning at the fact that in the few days he'd had off from school, Blaine had gotten some very sexy stubble.

"Okay, no" Kurt said, pushing Blaine's face away as Blaine gave him a devilish grin. "I will not be tempted into staying here, I will _not._"

"Then leave" Blaine said very slowly, leaning in once again and stopping just an inch from Kurt's face. "No one's stopping you."

Kurt looked up and down at his very giddy boyfriend, noticing very surprisingly that Blaine had changed his cologne recently. He smelled like how Kurt imagined all of the Hollywood classics. Cary Grant, Humphrey Bogart, the guys that Kurt had grown up watching on the screen with his mother.

And _damn_. He was so tempted to just close that inch of space and never let go.

So Kurt darted in for a quick peck before pulling away. "I'm leaving now" Kurt said as he took a step back and smiled at his boyfriend. Blaine's eyebrow darted up his forehead and he gave Kurt his signature smirk.

"Fine. Have fun in Glee" Blaine said while waving slightly at Kurt.

"Thanks" Kurt said as he felt his hand reach his car. Blaine stopped waving and turned his back to Kurt's car, starting to walk towards his own. Kurt felt a little guilty. He hadn't really bothered to ask Blaine what he did while Kurt was at school for several hours. Did Blaine go back to his family? Or did he spend it with his Dalton friends?

Kurt chewed on the inside of his lip as he tried to shake off his guilt. He was always feeling too guilty anytime he wronged Blaine. Even if it was something as minor as this.

Kurt shook his head as he tried to get out of his own thoughts. Blaine was already in his car, reaching to turn on the radio. The second he pressed the power button, Kurt could hear the Katy Perry from the other side of the parking lot.

Kurt laughed at him. Blaine wasn't the unpredictable type.

As Blaine looked over one last time before shifting his car into drive, Kurt waved and pressed his fingers to his lips, blowing a kiss to him one last time before he drove away.

Blaine just puckered his lips at Kurt and Kurt laughed. Ever the dork his boyfriend was.

Kurt unlocked his car and climbed into the driver's seat, reaching towards his own radio. Thank god Sirius had a Broadway channel.

Kurt shifted his own stick into drive and watched as Blaine left the parking lot. His car went down the "out" ramp and Kurt looked back at his dash. The time on the clock read 8:43 A.M.

_Crap_. Kurt was already way late.

_Kiss me too fiercely__  
><em>_Hold me too tight__  
><em>_I need help believing__  
><em>_You're with me tonight_

Any day where _Wicked_ came on the radio was going to be a good day. And now Kurt could say he'd sang _Wicked_ on a Broadway stage. That made his favorite musical all the more important to him.

_My wildest dreamings__  
><em>_Could not foresee__  
><em>_Lying beside you__  
><em>_With you wanting me_

Now that Kurt thought about it, this song was kind of like him and Blaine. Kurt saw a lot of himself in Elphaba.

His Glinda was Rachel and his Fiyero was Blaine. Kurt loved his family and they were kind to him. Elphaba wasn't so lucky. But she was teased mercilessly like Kurt. And she knew she was meant for better. She believed she could do anything. And in the end she got the guy and the friend, and when Idina Menzel played her, she got the voice.

She was actually a _lot_ like Kurt.

And like the end of Elphaba's story, Kurt got the guy.

And even though he'd had trials and tribulations and heart attacks and bullies, Kurt Hummel had had a pretty good year.

Thanks to Blaine.

That's when Kurt heard it.

There was a screeching of tires and the sound of metal crunching against metal and glass shattering. Kurt let go of the steering wheel in surprise and his foot came off of the brake holding his car in park. Gathering himself, Kurt put his foot on the brake and moved the stick into park.

People were opening the door to the coffee shop and peering outside looking for where the noise was coming from.

Kurt opened his own car door and looked around, realizing the loud noise was coming from up the street, behind the shop that he had spent so many hours with Blaine in.

Somebody had already rounded the corner, Kurt had parked kind of far away from the shop, given the Monday morning crowd, and Kurt could hear people gasping and even a little girl scream. A man in a very serious looking business suit whipped out his cell phone and dialed only a few numbers. It didn't take Kurt long to realize he was talking to the police.

"Yes, I'd like to report an accident on the corner of Shady Grove and Shorecrest. Um- There are two cars: One's a big kind of black SUV like a Suburban or something and the other looks like a kind of compact car. It's red but I can't tell much more."

Kurt realized he'd been standing still, just 5 feet behind the man, the corner of the shop still obscuring his view of the wreck.

"Are they breathing? I don't know… I'm not close… Hey! Can someone tell if they're breathing?" The man shouted at the people around the corner while covering the mic on the phone.

Kurt heard a few men shout back something like "We'll check"

Then, for the second time that day, Kurt was thrown off guard.

A loud explosion sounded in the air and the businessman immediately dropped his phone in shock. He cursed as he looked at the shattered wreckage, and Kurt, with someone no longer able to tell him second handedly found himself edging slowly around the corner.

It was a nightmare.

The cars that had crashed were about 50 feet away from Kurt as he rounded the corner. He saw all types of people backing away, and it looked as if some people had even been hit by the explosion that had come from the black SUV the man had described.

Kurt, being raised by a mechanic, recognized the Escalade's engine on fire. The explosion from said engine had caused the other car in the wreck to be flipped over and moved about 5 feet from the Escalade.

Kurt couldn't tell from where he was standing, but it looked as if the man in the Escalade had not survived. He was slumped over the steering wheel, his head covered in blood.

But despite the explosion, and all of the people backing away in a hurry as sirens sounded in the near vicinity, Kurt couldn't help but move closer. He didn't know what was causing him to become so intrigued by this crash, but all of his attention was absorbed in moving one foot in front of the other and examining the damage done to the 40 something driver of the Escalade.

It wasn't until Kurt got to about 15 feet away that his heart nearly stopped.

The red compact was closer to him than the Escalade, and he didn't realize that he hadn't paid attention to it before.

Until now.

Upside down to his angle, on the bottom right of the back of the car, was a Warblers decal.

And then Kurt recognized the car as the Audi Blaine's parents had given him for his sixteenth birthday.

The sound went out in Kurt's world, and he couldn't hear the sirens or the people shouting at him to back away from the car. The only thing he could feel was panic. All he could see was the Warbler decal that he knew belonged to his boyfriend.

And then he heard the second explosion. And there was bright light.

And Kurt felt nothing.

_Say there's no future__  
><em>_for us as a pair_

* * *

><p>"Shoot 100 of morphine, we gotta get his heart rate down"<p>

"Okay boss, but I don't know if that's going to work"

"Put his oxygen on! What the hell are you doing?"

"I'm sorry sir."

"Don't be sorry, just do it dammit!"

"Alright alright! He's mostly stable, he's going to be fine!"

"Sorry I overreacted. Just- Try to keep him stable until we get to the hospital. He's got a long way to go."

"Boss?"

"_What_?"

"I think he's waking up"

Kurt looked around and saw the white ceiling of what he quickly realized was an ambulance. To his left there was a morphine drip and one very frantic looking EMT and to his right there was another EMT, equally frantic, and yet he still looked like he was in control.

"I said keep him stable! And you know how to achieve the exact opposite of that? To let him wake up!"

"Okay, sorry boss!"

"Stop saying sorry just _do it_!"

"Okay!"

And then there was nothing again.

* * *

><p>Kurt opened his eyes slowly this time. He didn't want to throw any EMTs off guard.<p>

And suddenly he remembered again.

"Blaine…"

Kurt tried to force himself to sit up in his bed, but for some reason, his body wouldn't move. He felt like there was a great weight resting on his chest and no matter how hard he pushed, his body wouldn't.

"Kurt?"

Kurt moved his eyes towards his right at the sound of his name.

Carole was at the side of the bed squeezing his hand very tightly.

"Did you just say something? Kurt? Can you hear me?"

"Carole… Lower your voice, he just came out of surgery."

Kurt didn't have the energy to turn his head towards the other side of the bed, but he still recognized his father's voice.

And surgery? Surgery for what? From the stabbing pain in his side, Kurt could probably guess.

"Sorry Burt, I just thought I heard him say something"

_But I did_. Kurt closed his eyes and drew in a deep breath.

"Dad…"

Kurt felt Carole squeeze his hand tightly once again.

"See? Did you hear that?"

"Yeah… I did. Kurt? Kurt, can you hear me?"

Kurt opened his eyes slowly once again and turned to look at his dad.

He didn't have the energy to say anything this time, but he felt his dad's hand in his.

And he squeezed.

"Carole! He squeezed my hand! I felt it! He can hear us!"

Kurt didn't think he'd seen his dad so happy since his second wedding.

And that scared him.

Was it really that bad? Was he really in that much trouble?

"Dad?" Kurt barely whispered, trying his best to say anything he could.

Burt's attention immediately turned back towards the bed.

"Kurt? What is it? What's wrong?"

Kurt closed his eyes and tried to gather his thoughts. He wasn't sure he wanted the answer to his next question.

"Where's Blaine, Dad?"

Kurt didn't hear anything as silence slowly spread across the room. Kurt didn't need to open his eyes to know something was horribly wrong.

Carole suddenly let out a great sob and Kurt wrenched his eyes open. Her face was stained with tears, and the hand that wasn't in Kurt's was clasped over her mouth as she shook her head slightly. Kurt looked to his dad as he sought any sort of comfort.

But he found none there. Burt's eyes were swimming with tears as he gave Kurt's hand another hard squeeze.

"Dad. Where's Blaine?"

Burt still didn't say anything. Kurt didn't know how he managed it, but he wrenched his hands out of both of his parents and pulled himself up in his bed.

"Dad! Where _is_ Blaine?"

This time, his dad didn't respond, but Carole did.

"Kurt I'm so so sorry…"

Kurt could barely understand her through the sobs, but he heard her scared tone. And he knew something was wrong. Maybe more than he had originally thought.

"Will someone please just tell me what is wrong?" Kurt shouted as tears began to run down his face. "Will someone just tell me where the hell my boyfriend is? I need him here! I need my boyfriend! I need Blaine! Where the hell is Blaine?" Kurt continued shouting when he found that suddenly, he couldn't breathe.

He brought his hand to his chest as he became overwhelmed with sobs.

Carole wrapped her arms around Kurt and squeezed as tight as she could.

"It's going to be okay Kurt, it's going to be okay"

"Blaine was in a car accident."

"Burt!" Carole whipped her head towards Kurt's father as she shouted at him, her tone accusatory.

"He needs to know Carole. He was there, he's not oblivious."

"I know, but-"

"But nothing". This time it was Kurt who spoke. He placed his hand on Carole's lightly. "I need to know where he is"

"Kurt…" Carole said slowly.

"It's alright Carole, I'll tell him" Burt said.

Carole looked up at her husband with a slight frown, but she nodded. She tightened her grip on Kurt's hand and pulled it up, giving it a light kiss.

"I love you sweetie."

Carole left Kurt's hospital room, but not before she gave one last look inside. As she closed the door behind her, Kurt noticed she wiped a tear away on her cheek.

"Kurt…" Burt said slowly as Kurt's attention was still focused on his hospital door.

Kurt turned back to his father and noticed the large crease on his forehead and the slightly redder than normal eyes. His father had been crying.

"Kurt…" Burt began again. "Blaine—he, um, he-"

"Dad, please just tell me" Kurt begged him, his eyes watering quickly with tears as the realization began to hit him like a train.

"The explosion that hit you today, it came from Blaine's car, and- um- well, it was a pretty strong explosion, and- well,"

"Dad, _please_. Tell me what happened already!" Kurt shouted at him once again, causing his father to jump back slightly.

"Blaine didn't make it."

* * *

><p>Kurt was laying on his back staring at the solitary crack in the plaster above him.<p>

It started at the wall and continued to the center of the ceiling.

And that was it.

That's where it ended.

But Kurt had been staring at it for hours.

Several nurses had come in since he had woken up that day, and Kurt had ignored all of them.

"More morphine?"

"More pillows?"

"Some water?"

"Jello?"

Kurt's eyes hadn't left the ceiling.

His dad had begged him to say something. Anything.

Carole had cried for hours on end.

Mercedes had held his hand until it was clammy.

Rachel had even offered up all of her solos.

Kurt hadn't moved.

Kurt didn't want to move.

Kurt didn't want to think.

Kurt wished he didn't have to breathe.

"Kurt?"

Kurt wished they'd all just leave him alone.

He wished everyone would just _leave him alone_.

"Kurt, come on, talk to me"

_Please just leave me alone_.

Why was this ceiling made of plaster?

Why wouldn't they fix a crack?

They shouldn't leave a crack.

There should never be cracks.

"Kurt, this isn't healthy. You can't just lay here all day. You have to talk to someone. You have to talk about it. Blaine wouldn't want…"

"How the _hell_ would you know what he would want?"

Kurt had suddenly sat up in his bed, and he was glaring as hard as he could at his step-brother.

"You don't know _anything_ about him."

Finn Hudson didn't look as if he'd been crying, but his face was caught in a tight grimace and his eyebrows were knotted. He was clasping his hands together and his shirt's shoulder was stained with tears. Rachel's presumably.

But Kurt's eyes never left Finn's.

Kurt just couldn't believe him. Standing there, acting as if he knew _anything_ about…

And then Kurt's breath caught in his throat.

Kurt still couldn't say his name. He was already tearing up and he hadn't even said it. All he'd done was lay in his bed. All day. And he couldn't even manage one thought. One thought about him. Was too much.

It was _all too much_.

"Kurt…"

Kurt's eyes had dropped to his lap and Kurt knew that Finn could see the tears streaming down his face.

"Kurt… It's going to be…" But even Finn couldn't bring himself to say it was all going to be okay.

Because it wasn't.

Finn's hand came down on Kurt's shoulder and Kurt's entire body shuddered.

"Don't. Touch. Me."

"Okay, I'm sorry" Finn said quietly, retracting his hand.

Kurt didn't tell him it was okay.

Nothing felt okay.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

Kurt laid back down in his bed and exhaled as slowly as possible.

"Do you want to talk to someone else about it?"

Kurt's eyes wandered back to the ceiling.

The crack was still there.

It wasn't fixed.

"Kurt? Do you want to talk about something else?"

Why was the crack still there?

"Do you want to sleep?"

The crack wasn't too long. But it was still there.

And it started at the wall.

"Kurt?"

"He said he loved me Finn."

He felt Finn's hand rest on his.

"Don't. Touch. Me."

"Sorry"

Finn's hand moved off of his.

Kurt closed his eyes.

Maybe he needed some sleep.

Maybe he wouldn't wake up.

If he was lucky.

* * *

><p>"Kurt! I know you got in late, but come <em>on<em>! I want to hear about New York!"

Kurt's eyes were still closed, but he knew he was slowly drifting into consciousness.

Sleeping had worked.

The problem was now… He didn't want to wake up.

"Please just leave me alone. Can everyone just _leave me alone_?" Kurt said calmly, keeping his eyes shut as he rubbed his temple.

But his surroundings were slowly coming into focus.

He wasn't in his hospital bed.

He wasn't wearing that horrible hospital gown.

He no longer smelled the hospital.

It actually smelled like, like, coffee.

That wasn't possible.

Kurt opened his eyes slowly.

He was in the Lima Bean.

Kurt looked across from him and suddenly, he couldn't breathe.

Blaine cocked his head to the side and his eyebrows knotted in concern.

"Kurt? What's wrong?"


	2. Goodbye Love

Hey you guys! I hope you liked the last chapter… But I hope you like this one more! Hopefully by the end of this chapter, you'll kind of get the gist of where this story is going. If not, send me a review and let me know!

I appreciate any comments you guys have and any support you can give me for the story!

* * *

><p>Kurt immediately closed his eyes again. The sight of his boyfriend cocking his head to the side with a concerned facial expression was sending him into a state of panic.<p>

_Kurt, you can't do this. You can't pretend he's alive. He's gone._

Blaine was gone. And Kurt needed to deal with that. As much as he'd love to open his eyes and see Blaine's beautiful brown ones staring back at him, it wasn't going to happen. Blaine was dead. He'd left coffee with Kurt and driven 30 yards to an intersection. At green, Blaine had hit the gas. At red, so did the other car.

_He's dead. And he's not coming back. Not ever._

Kurt couldn't breathe. This was almost as bad as hearing that Blaine was gone. He couldn't torture himself like this. He needed to let go. He had to let go. Or he might not survive.

"Kurt, you're really scaring me. Please just look at me"

Kurt shook his head slightly, and kept his eyes firmly shut. He could feel the tears welling up inside of him and it was making him nauseous. Why couldn't he go back to sleep?

Maybe he could sleep forever. Then he could be with Blaine.

But Kurt didn't believe in God. He didn't believe in Heaven. He never would.

Maybe he had died. This was his hell. Maybe this was punishment for disbelieving. Maybe this was the worst that God could come up with for him.

Because it sure felt like it.

"I'm serious Kurt. You're really scaring me."

"You're not real"

Kurt opened his eyes slowly, and through his tears, he could see Blaine's rightfully concerned expression and fear clouding his face.

"What're you talking about Kurt? What's wrong? Just five seconds ago you were talking to me about singing with Rachel on the Wicked stage right before you had to compete. Did that upset you? Thinking about losing again?"

_Not losing Nationals. Losing you._

"You're not real" Kurt said for what seemed like the hundredth time, hoping that somehow repeating it several times would make it untrue. He wanted Blaine to be real.

He needed him to be.

"Kurt, I am being completely serious right now, if you do not tell me what is wrong or what the hell you're talking about, I'm going to call your father."

Kurt moved his gaze to the table and resumed shaking his head slowly side to side.

_Don't fall for it Kurt. This is just your imagination. You did the same thing when your mother died. Blaine is _gone_. He's not coming back_.

"Kurt! Stop that and look at me!"

Kurt's eyes slowly moved across the table and locked onto Blaine's unflinching gaze.

"I am real. And I'm not going anywhere. I love you Kurt."

Kurt stopped breathing. This was more than déjà vu.

This was exactly what happened before the car crash. Everything was the same. Not _exactly_ the same. But mostly. Everything except Kurt remained the same.

Because Kurt knew what was going to happen next.

"Hey you guys!"

Kurt looked up and saw Mercedes standing there with Sam.

"Will we see you at Glee Club Kurt?" Mercedes asked with a smirk as she saw Kurt sitting with Blaine.

Kurt gave her the best smile he could for his present predicament and nodded slightly.

"Yeah… um, see you there"

Mercedes gave him a slight frown before walking away with Sam towards the counter.

Blaine laughed and shook his head at the couple.

"Do they really think they're fooling anyone?" he said before turning back to face Kurt.

"Fooling anyone?" Kurt asked slowly. If he was right, Blaine was going to say…

"They're _dating_ Kurt. Anyone can see that."

Kurt nodded slowly and found himself tuning Blaine out. He was right.

He looked around the coffee shop that he was so familiar with and began to realize that this wasn't just the coffee shop that he and Blaine visited practically every day, this was the exact coffee shop they'd visited on the day Blaine died.

But Blaine wasn't dead.

Kurt tried pinching himself for good measure.

It just hurt.

"Blaine? What day is today?" Kurt asked Blaine, returning his gaze to lock with his boyfriend's.

Blaine smiled at him in a confused sort of way. Kurt noticed that Mercedes and Sam were now leaving the shop, hands intertwined. The clock above the door they were exiting read 8:40.

"It's Monday Kurt. First day back at school since New York."

Kurt nodded slowly, trying to pretend like this wasn't news to him. It was Monday. The day that Blaine had been hit by a car started anew.

Blaine was alive and well.

And Kurt was one day in the past.

Everything was the same, except Kurt knew what was going to happen.

And this time, he'd have to change it.

"Speaking of which, you're better get back to McKinley. School started about 15 minutes ago, and just because Sam and Mercedes are late too doesn't mean you can be."

Kurt's eyes snapped back to Blaine's instantly.

"No."

Blaine chuckled and raised an eyebrow. "No?"

"I'm not going, let's- um- let's stay here. Let's get more coffee. And a scone! I like scones"

Blaine's eyebrows scrunched together and looked at Kurt quizzically.

"Kurt… It's your last week. A few hours won't hurt you. And we can grab a scone afterwards and you can tell me about your day."

"No, let's grab one now" Kurt got up out of his seat and moved to the counter.

But he felt a hand grab his from behind him.

"Kurt…"

"_What?_"

Blaine smiled at Kurt sadly and pulled Kurt towards him, wrapping his arms around Kurt's neck.

"I know you want to spend more time with me, but you have to go to school. I don't want you to have to waste time in detention."

Kurt was very confused. Just yesterday, Blaine had been in Kurt's position, begging him not to go. Kurt had insisted that he had to leave because he was already late, and Blaine had been bitter about it.

It was the same Monday, but it wasn't.

This was different.

"I'm gonna go" Blaine said, turning away from Kurt.

Panic rushed into Kurt and it suddenly became his one and only goal to make sure that Blaine _did not_ leave this building.

"No!" Kurt practically shouted, jumping in front of Blaine with his arms outspread as if he were a human wall.

Blaine frowned, less concerned and more aggravated this time.

"Come on Kurt, be mature. Just go to school and I'll see you afterwards alright?"

Kurt shook his head vigorously, keeping his arms outspread.

To his surprise, tears were beginning to cloud his vision once again.

"Please don't go Blaine"

Blaine was still frowning at Kurt and Kurt noticed a clock behind Blaine's head that read 8:43.

"I don't want to lose you"

Blaine sighed and but his hands on top of Kurt's arms, pushing them towards Kurt's body. He leaned in and gave Kurt a quick kiss on the nose.

"I'm not going anywhere" Blaine said with a smile before side-stepping Kurt and heading out the door.

Kurt stood there a moment.

Was this really even happening? Or was this some sort of bizarrely vivid dream?

Kurt cursed himself. He'd actually let himself believe that Blaine was still alive.

Kurt closed his eyes slowly and took a deep breath.

_I'm sorry Kurt. But he's gone. And he's not coming back_.

Even through closed eyes Kurt could feel the tears coming.

But then it happened.

A second time.

Patrons of the Lima Bean looked up suddenly as a great crash sounded outside. Kurt's eyes flew open as he surveyed the coffee shop. A man in the corner had knocked his coffee over into his lap. A woman at the register had dropped her coin purse. There were pennies, nickels, dimes, and quarters rolling around on the floor. A penny rolled to Kurt's feet and landed face up.

Huh. A lucky penny.

Some people were already gathered at the window, looking down the street. But Kurt already knew what was there.

A group was moving towards the door and peering down the street.

A little boy screamed.

A woman in a business suit pulled out her phone and dialed 911.

Kurt slowly moved his feet one in front of the other. As he reached the door, he placed his palm against the glass and pushed slowly. Outside a few people had their mouths covered in shock. Some people were rushing to help the people in the accident.

The people in the accident.

Blaine.

Kurt rounded the corner of the Lima Bean in a sort of daze. Down the street, Blaine's Audi was crushed between a blue Tahoe and a lamppost.

It was the same accident.

But it wasn't.

"Hey! Can we get some help over here?"

Kurt's gaze moved towards the blue Tahoe side of the wreck. Two men were trying to pull out a woman in the driver's seat. Her arm looked broken and her eyes were closed. Another man was trying to pull someone else out of the back seat.

Kurt ran over to help them just as the man successfully pulled out an 8 year old boy.

He shoved the kid towards Kurt as he moved to help Blaine in the other car.

Kurt looked down at the 8 year old hugging him tightly.

"Where's my mom?" the boy cried out as he held tightly to Kurt's shirt. "Where is she?"

Kurt looked down at the boy and shook his head. "I'm sure she's fine. Now why don't you go stand with that nice lady over there?" Kurt motioned to a woman standing on the sidewalk.

As the boy moved away from Kurt, Kurt's attention shifted towards the car he knew was Blaine's.

The man was kneeling down next to the driver's side door, and, to Kurt's surprise, talking to the driver inside.

"Blaine?" Kurt said quietly, to himself, as no one around him could here.

"Blaine!"

The man kneeling next to the door looked over at Kurt and turned back to Blaine, who nodded.

"Come over here boy, this kid wants to talk to you."

Kurt's eyes were filling with tears. It was the same Monday, but it wasn't. It was different. Blaine was alive.

Kurt rushed over to the driver's side door and bent over to be eye level with Blaine.

Blaine smiled at him. There was a gash on his forehead from where it'd hit the steering wheel, and Blaine looked a little dazed, but otherwise alright.

"Hey Kurt" Blaine said, his face going back to normal. It seemed to be too much effort to smile.

Tears were rolling down Kurt's cheeks as he laughed, reaching his hand out to wipe some of the blood off of Blaine's cheek. "Hey Blaine"

"I probably should have listened to you huh?" Blaine said with a weak laugh.

Kurt's tears started coming faster as he tried to speak slowly to avoid sobbing heavily. "Yeah, well, maybe next time you'll listen"

Blaine frowned at Kurt and reached the hand that wasn't pinned under the seat to Kurt's face, wiping the tears from his cheeks just as Kurt had done to the blood on Blaine's face.

"Hey… Kurt… I'm fine. Everything's going to be okay"

Kurt looked into Blaine's eyes and smiled. Okay.

That's not a word he thought he'd hear again.

"Promise?"

Blaine cocked his head slightly to the side and gave Kurt a smile that said, of course I do. "Promise"

A force behind Kurt suddenly threw him into the side of Blaine's car. Kurt felt his head hit the top of the car door.

And then he felt nothing.

* * *

><p>"Guys! I'm serious! Keep it down… You're going to wake him up!"<p>

"Chill out Finnocence. He's going to have to wake up eventually"

"Yeah, well, I'd rather he'd get his rest. He's going to need it."

"You can say that again"

"He's going to need it."

"I wasn't being _quite_ so literal Brittany"

"Sorry San"

"Will you all just _shut up_"

"Christ Rachel, just take a chill pill"

"I may be Jewish Noah, but I'd appreciate you not taking His name in vain"

"Hey! Everybody look! His eyes are fluttering…"

Kurt immediately felt a hand on his squeezing tight.

"Kurt? Hey, Kurt? Can you hear me?"

Kurt squeezed his eyes shut tighter. He recognized this scene. It was familiar, and yet, it was different.

"Kurt?"

"Jesus, Rachel, give him a minute!"

"Noah! What did I _just_ say?"

"Sorry…"

Kurt felt a new hand take his left in theirs. This hand he would recognize. It'd been there for him for a couple of years now, and it never ceased to bring him comfort.

"Kurt? Can you hear me? Can you hear any of us?" Mercedes asked timidly.

Kurt took a deep sigh and slowly opened his eyes. It was bright in the hospital room. His eyes moved to the ceiling.

There was no crack.

He moved his gaze to Mercedes' big brown eyes.

"Hey Cedes" Kurt said with a sad smile.

"Kurt!" came a collective cry from around the room. It appeared that the entire Glee Club was there. Even Santana had showed up. Her pinkie linked with Brittany, Kurt could assume why.

"Hey guys" Kurt said, slowly pulling himself up in the stiff hospital bed.

Rachel bit her lip and opened her mouth to say something, but closed it immediately, her face quickly changing to one of deep concern.

Kurt knew what had happened already. But he had a feeling it might not be the same. This Monday was the same Monday as the accident. But it was a different accident.

The same place in time, but a different collection of events. This time, Kurt was talking to Blaine when he blacked out. And Blaine was alive.

Blaine was alive.

"What happened?" Kurt asked no one in particular.

Finn looked nervously over at Rachel who reached her hand down to squeeze his. Mercedes looked over at the pair of them and then back to Tina, who merely shrugged and leaned back into Mike. Puck shifted his gaze down to the floor while Santana put her arm around Brittany and gave her a gentle squeeze. Artie gave Brittany a quick pat on the back before quickly withdrawing his hand to his lap with an icy glare from Santana.

Finn was the first to talk.

"I think we better go get your dad Kurt…"

Kurt looked at the grimaces on all of their faces.

But Blaine was alive.

Kurt had seen him.

He was alive.

He had to be.

"Why don't you just tell me Finn?"

"We'll go get your dad Kurt". This time it was Rachel who spoke.

The rest of the Glee Club simply nodded and exited the hospital room slowly, waving goodbye to Kurt and saying things like, "See you soon" and "Be back later".

Besides Finn, Rachel was the last to leave. She squeezed Kurt's hand tightly and leaned over to give him a kiss on the forehead.

"I love you Kurt, please don't forget that."

Kurt looked at her quizzically as she withdrew from him. That was new, coming from her.

"Catch you later man, alright?" Finn said slowly, raising his fist up towards Kurt.

Kurt laughed and raised his fist to Finn's for a light bump. Finn tried to smile at him, but it came out as a sort of half attempted grimace.

"Hey Finn? Rachel said Kurt was awake." Burt had just popped his head in the doorframe of the hospital room and was looking at Finn.

"Uh, yeah, he's awake. I was just saying bye" Finn said, lowering his hand to his side and making his way towards the door.

"Your mom's outside" Burt said, patting Finn on the shoulder lightly.

Finn just nodded and moved out of the room, giving one last wink to Kurt and exiting the room.

"Hey dad" Kurt said, intertwining his hands in his lap and staring at them.

"Hey Kurt. How are you?" His dad said, pulling the chair from the wall closer to the bed and sitting next to him.

"I'm fine. My head kind of hurts…" Kurt said, reaching up to touch the sore spot on the back of his head. He was surprised to find a supple amount of gauze there and a surprising lack of hair.

Kurt's other hand quickly reached up to his head and touched the top of it.

"Did- Did you let them _shave my head_?" Kurt shouted loudly.

Burt laughed at Kurt's sudden outburst and overdramatic fear.

"Um, yeah. You had to have a bit of surgery, so, you know, that meant hair had to go"

"Are you _serious_? Dad! That's my hair! I'm- I'm- I'm bald! How many Broadway stars are bald? How many?" Kurt shouted at his dad again.

"Kurt… Kurt… It's going to grow back. We just had to rush you into surgery to make sure you'd be okay. You were hit by a pretty big chunk of that Tahoe."

Kurt's expression changed from one of shock to one of fear. Hit by a piece of the SUV? What?

Burt's face changed to one of concern as well as he reached his hand out to take Kurt's.

"I'm sorry. You still don't know what happened do you?"

Kurt shook his head lightly as his free hand continued to rub against his newly bald head. This was new.

"Well. Getting hit by a Tahoe… Guess that's not bad for my first Monday back huh?" Kurt said, trying to make light of the situation.

Burt laughed too and smiled at him, giving his hand a gentle squeeze.

"You don't have to worry about that anymore. It's Tuesday now. Your surgery put you out for the better part of the day"

Kurt looked up suddenly panicked. Tuesday?

It wasn't supposed to be Tuesday. He hadn't made it to Tuesday before.

"Tuesday huh? Well that's… Good I guess."

"You guess? We thought you might not make it. It's great!"

Kurt smiled at his dad, but he couldn't help but feel that something might be missing. Something that no one had mentioned yet.

"Has anyone told you what happened at all?"

"No. They just went and fetched you. To tell me. What happened."

"Right, right. So, um, there was a car accident, and apparently you were standing between he two cars. The engine blew in one and you were hit by the fender as the car exploded. It threw you against the other car and you hit your head pretty badly."

Kurt nodded slowly, but couldn't help but feel a similar growing fear in his gut.

Blaine was alive.

He'd talked to him.

They were talking.

He said he loved him.

"And then you ended up here for surgery. Now you've been out for awhile, but they said you needed to rest. Your friends have been here for awhile."

But what about his boyfriend?

"Carole and I have been here too, obviously, but _Rachel_ seemed to think that being surrounded by music might make you wake faster. That girl is quite talented and she _knows _it."

Kurt forced out a laugh and simply nodded.

Burt smiled a sort of forced smile and looked down at his hand holding Kurt's. And that's when Kurt knew.

His dad wasn't a man of many words, but his silence moved mountains.

But Blaine was alive.

Kurt had talked to him.

He was alive.

"What do you remember about the accident Kurt?"

Kurt wanted to look away from his dad, but those eyes boring into him made it impossible for him to look anywhere else.

"I remember the crash and people panicking. I ran over there to help… And, um, I saw that one of the cars, was, um-"

Kurt took a deep breath and tried to control his thoughts. Tears were already forming in his eyes.

Burt squeezed Kurt's hand and looked into his eyes. "Come on Kurt, it's alright. What do you remember?"

Kurt closed his eyes. Blaine. He remembered Blaine.

Blaine was alive.

He and Kurt had talked.

He was alive.

He said he loved Kurt.

Why hadn't he said it back?

Kurt's eyes flew open.

A new Monday… He'd forgotten to say it back.

Kurt laid back onto his bed and looked at the ceiling to take solace in the familiar crack.

But it was gone.

A new Monday.

What was happening?

"Kurt?"

"Yeah?"

"Who was in the red car Kurt?"

Kurt closed his eyes again.

"Blaine."

Kurt felt his dad squeeze his hand.

Kurt could already feel the tears coming from his eyes. Somehow he already knew.

A new Monday.

Well, a new Tuesday.

Monday was gone.

"Blaine didn't make it Kurt."

And so was Blaine.

* * *

><p>"Kurt?"<p>

Kurt didn't bother opening his eyes to look at Rachel. He was done. Once again.

He was done.

"Kurt? Can you hear me?"

Kurt exhaled slowly and brought up his hand to rub his temple.

What the hell was going on?

Blaine was still dead.

But it wasn't Monday anymore.

It was Tuesday.

And Kurt still couldn't sleep.

This felt real.

This was real.

Blaine was gone. Again.

And Kurt couldn't do anything about it.

"Kurt, please… Just- Say something. Anything? I don't like seeing you like this Kurt. You know that Blaine wouldn't want this."

Kurt rolled over and turned his back to Rachel.

He was tired.

He'd had to live through his boyfriend dying. Twice.

It was all too confusing.

What was real?

Kurt didn't know. This sure as hell felt real.

"You can't ignore me Kurt. You can try and ignore everyone else and pretend like you don't care or whatever, but I'm not falling for it. Blaine meant the world to you. And I'm sure you meant the world to him. He liked you a lot Kurt."

Kurt sat up in his bed and turned to Rachel, his eyes unflinching. Rachel looked taken aback as she withdrew the hand that she had started to reach out towards Kurt.

"He loved me Rachel. He said he loved me." Kurt suddenly felt tears welling up inside of him again.

"And I didn't say it back"

Kurt raised his hands to his face. He didn't want Rachel to see him cry. Not like this. But Kurt felt the tiny arms wrap around him as Rachel crawled into the bed and drew Kurt towards her.

"I'm so sorry Kurt. I know this is horrible. I'm so so sorry"

Kurt didn't say anything.

He stayed like that with Rachel, crying into her arms until he couldn't cry anymore. He was just exhausted. He felt himself drifting asleep as Rachel leaned back into the tables, still patting Kurt's shoulder and whispering, "I'm so so so sorry".

And Kurt fell asleep like that.

* * *

><p>"Ugh, yuck! I asked for a medium drip, not whatever coconut latte mumbo jumbo this is!"<p>

Kurt kept his eyes shut tightly.

There was no way.

It wasn't possible.

This wasn't real.

It couldn't be real.

It sure _felt_ real.

And Kurt sure as hell wanted it to be.

"Hey, Kurt, is something wrong?"

Kurt shook his head lightly and kept his eyes screwed shut.

"Okay, I'm going to go see if they'll fix this drink."

Kurt couldn't open his eyes. He wasn't doing this again.

But suddenly, Kurt felt a pair of lips pressed tightly against his and his eyes flew open in surprise.

Blaine withdrew from Kurt and laughed at the expression on his face.

"Well _that_ got your attention…"

You have_ no_ idea.


	3. Wishing You Were Somehow Here Again

Kurt drew in a deep breath as he watched his boyfriend walk back towards the coffee counter. His stride was the same and he still had the same swagger of a guy that wished he had swagger. It was the same Blaine. It was his Blaine.

This much Kurt knew to be true.

He may be reliving different Mondays, or rather, different versions of the same Monday, but every time he came back, it was the same Blaine.

Blaine never changed.

And it was breaking Kurt's heart. He didn't know what exactly was happening here. He didn't even know if this was all in his head.

Maybe this was in his head.

Maybe on the first day he'd been hit and was stuck in a terrible coma, forced to relive the worst day of his life.

Kurt screwed his eyes shut and tried to focus on waking up. Waking up from whatever this was.

He opened his eyes. Still at the Lima Bean.

He looked towards the counter. Blaine was still here.

How was this possible?

Kurt backtracked. The first Monday, the crash had happened when Kurt was in his car. Blaine had begged him to stay, and Kurt had insisted on leaving. So Blaine had left and crashed.

Kurt didn't even make it to the car before it'd exploded.

Second Monday, Kurt had begged Blaine not to leave. Blaine left in order to make Kurt leave. Cars crashed. Kurt talked to Blaine.

First explosion sent Kurt to hospital.

And now he was here.

Kurt surveyed the Lima Bean trying to figure out what was different about this Monday. But he realized that he hadn't paid much attention to this part. The part where Blaine was still alive.

Blaine.

"Sweet! Now _this_ is the lovely medium drip that I know so well" Blaine said with a broad grin, practically falling back into his seat.

Kurt smiled nervously and nodded, looking over as Blaine eagerly drank his coffee.

"Blaine?"

Blaine looked up at Kurt and cocked his head to the side in earnest. "Yeah?"

Kurt swallowed before asking the same question he'd asked yesterday. Only today was a new day.

"What day is it?"

Blaine rolled his eyes at Kurt and stared at him bemusedly. "Monday, Kurt. Don't pretend like you forgot your first day of school back from New York" he added with a tip of his cup.

Kurt smiled at him half-heartedly. "No, um, no. I didn't forget."

"Darn" Blaine said with a small smirk. "I was hoping you'd spend the day here with me".

Kurt's attention peaked at that. So Blaine was back on Kurt skipping school.

"I still could."

Blaine gave Kurt a look that said no-you-can't.

It was happening all over again.

Kurt would beg Blaine to stay and Blaine would tell Kurt to go to school. Then Blaine would leave and get in that terrible accident.

It was more than that.

Blaine would die again.

And Kurt would be left to ask himself what the hell was going on. Kurt wouldn't know whether or not to mourn his dead boyfriend or conjure up a plan to save him the next day.

The same day.

Kurt closed his eyes and leaned back in his chair, rubbing his temples. He ran his fingers through his hair, smiling slightly at the fact that his head was no longer shaved.

Plus side of negating brain surgery, Kurt mused silently.

But running his fingers through his hair did nothing to calm his thoughts. This was just all so weird. So freaking weird.

Kurt let out a deep sigh and interlocked his fingers on the top of his head, resting them there.

He just needed more time. He needed to figure out what the hell was happening.

Why was he reliving the worst day of his life?

What the hell was he supposed to do?

"Hey Kurt?"

Kurt's eyes opened abruptly as he heard his boyfriend say his name.

"What?"

Blaine opened his mouth, but closed it, as if reconsidering. Then he spoke.

"It's just, you're acting kind of weird. Is something wrong?"

Kurt looked at him for a moment, considering what he was saying. Everything was wrong.

The better question was what wasn't going wrong.

Kurt must be crazy. He must be insane. Really really insane.

Any moment now he was going to wake up and laugh at how he'd actually fallen for this bizarre hoax his own mind was playing against him.

Yeah. Something was way wrong.

"No. Why would you ask?"

Kurt gave his boyfriend a smile as he took a sip from his own cup. He blamed Blaine for his obsession with medium drips.

"Okay. I was just making sure" Blaine said before opening the lid to his cup to put in some more sugar.

Kurt surveyed his boyfriend fixing his drink and considered his situation.

What if this wasn't just a dream? What if he really was reliving the worst day of his life?

What if he was getting another chance to save his boyfriend?

What if this was real?

Kurt looked around and noticed for the first time just how vivid everything was.

Not really comparable to the hazy backgrounds of a dream.

"Blaine?"

"Yeah Kurt?" Blaine asked without looking up from the cup he was stirring.

"Will you promise to listen to me if I tell you something crazy?"

"Sure" Blaine answered absentmindedly, still moving the stirring stick.

"This isn't the first time I've been here" Kurt dead-panned, keeping his eyes focused firmly on Blaine.

Blaine looked up slowly from his coffee and stared at Kurt worriedly.

"What?"

"I think I've gone back in time" Kurt said as matter-of-factly as he could.

Blaine looked at him with a quizzical brow and laughed nervously at Kurt before he noticed that Kurt was completely seriously.

"You're serious?"

"Dead" Kurt said before he recognized the irony and accidentally laughed out loud.

Blaine laughed with him, but a sort of forced laugh as he watched his boyfriend with great concern.

"So you are kidding?" Blaine asked slowly once Kurt's laughter had slowly begun to die down.

"No, I'm not, I just- I think I understand the horrible irony of it all. Dead serious… It's really not funny at all. It's really quite awful" Kurt said bringing his coffee to his lips and taking a giant sip.

Blaine's concern was growing as he stared at his boyfriend.

"Okay, Kurt, what're you talking about? You're really not making any sense."

Kurt put his coffee down suddenly and looked very seriously at Blaine.

"I think I'm supposed to save you."

Blaine frowned at Kurt and his brow became severely knotted. "Save me? What do you-"

"I'm supposed to stop you from dying."

Blaine actually laughed this time. "Dying? Kurt… I'm not dying."

"Not yet" Kurt said quietly, folding his hands and putting them in his lap.

"Not yet? Kurt, I'm being quite serious… You're scaring me. I'm fine. You don't need to 'save' me."

Kurt shook his head slightly, still looking at his lap. This _was_ crazy. Why did he think that he would actually be able to say these things out loud and have someone else see them as not crazy?

Blaine probably thought he was off his rocker. But he wasn't. He'd already seen Blaine die twice. He didn't want it to happen again.

"Kurt! Look at me! Tell me what you're talking about! You are seriously making me worry about you!"

Kurt looked up as Blaine reached out across the table and grabbed Kurt's hands from his lap.

"Kurt, I love you. I am crazy about you and I would do anything for you. But I can't help if you won't tell me what's wrong."

Kurt realized that he was tearing up again. Well, for the first time on this Monday.

"I love you too" Kurt said quietly through his tears.

"Kurt… Come on. You're visibly upset. You have to tell me what's wrong. I can help if you just tell me what's wrong" Blaine said slowly, squeezing Kurt's hand tightly.

Kurt drew in a quick and shallow breath, trying to stop the tears from falling down his cheeks. But it didn't help.

"I love you Blaine. I love you so much" Kurt said as the tears really started to fall.

He didn't know what was making him so much more upset this time. He'd seen Blaine die twice, he'd seen him die knowing what was going to happen. And he hadn't stopped it then.

Perhaps it was because it was just dawning on Kurt that maybe he _couldn't_ save Blaine. So far, he'd always gone to sleep with the intention of resting, trying to shake his grief. This time he would go to sleep thinking about how to save him.

Save Blaine.

But what if it didn't work?

What if this time Blaine just died?

Kurt couldn't have that. It was breaking his heart to think about how he might not ever see Blaine again.

"Kurt, I love you too. I do! But please tell me what's wrong. Please? I want to know, I really do!"

Kurt withdrew a hand from Blaine's and wiped his face, trying to get rid of some of the tears.

"I'm sorry I scared you Blaine, I am" Kurt said.

Blaine looked at Kurt with an even more concerned expression that before.

"It's okay"

Kurt and Blaine sat there for a minute while Kurt reconsidered his approach.

"Hey you guys!"

Kurt looked up and saw Mercedes and Rachel holding coffee.

That was different.

"What're you two doing here?" Blaine asked with a smile.

"Just on the way to Glee Club" Rachel said with a smile, and then taking a drink from her coffee cup.

"Mr. Schuester probably has some weird nostalgia performance to give" Mercedes said with a giggle.

Kurt looked between the both of them and tried to just simply nod and pretend to listen.

"See you soon Kurt?" Rachel asked with a smile.

"Yeah… Yeah sure." Kurt said, not even bothering to smile.

He looked at the clock instead. It was 8:40.

"Kurt, you didn't even pay attention to them… You can't expect me to believe that nothing's wrong."

Kurt let out a deep breath. This honesty thing could work. He just needed to be more aggressive about it.

"Okay Blaine, you need to listen to me"

Blaine raised his eyebrows and smiled at Kurt. "Listening."

"I don't know what's happening to me. All I know is that yesterday and the day before, I watched you die in a car accident. Both days. And now you're here. And you're fine. It's like every time I go to bed, I wake up, and I'm here. And you're alive again. For whatever reason, you keep dying and I haven't been able to stop it. But I will this time. I'm not going to let you die okay?"

Blaine looked at Kurt with an expression of shock. That's the only way to describe it. Complete shock.

"Okay, so… You think I've died before and you want to stop it from happening again?"

"Yes."

Blaine burst out laughing, holding his stomach and bringing his hand to his eyes to stop himself from crying. He almost knocked over his coffee in the middle of laughing and he quickly steadied it, still laughing.

"Okay, okay, I'm sorry. Is this supposed to be some preamble to a big surprise or something? Are you trying to make me think you're going insane so I'll break up with you?" Blaine suddenly looked aghast. "Do you want to break up with me?"

"No! No! I don't want to break up with you, I swear!" Kurt said suddenly, grabbing Blaine's hand back and squeezing it tightly.

"Okay good" Blaine said taking a deep breath, as he looked very overwhelmed.

Kurt realized this wasn't going to work.

"So why did you say all of that stuff?" Blaine continued, looking very anxious for Kurt's answer.

"I don't know. To make you laugh I guess" Kurt said sadly, pulling his hand away from Blaine's.

"It worked" Blaine said with a smile.

Kurt didn't know what to do now. Blaine couldn't leave the shop, but he probably wouldn't stay here.

He was just going to think Kurt's insane.

He probably already did.

But at least Kurt hadn't forgotten to tell Blaine he loved him this time around.

This time around.

Hopefully it wasn't the last time around.

Kurt would figure it out, he _would_. He could save Blaine.

It'd just take time to figure it out.

He needed to figure out a way to make Blaine listen.

But it probably wouldn't happen this time around.

"Listen Kurt, I better get going" Blaine said.

Kurt didn't even look up.

"I'll call you later okay?" Blaine asked timidly.

Kurt just nodded.

Then, for the third time since this crazy thing started, Kurt heard a loud crash.

"What the hell was that?" Blaine yelled out as Kurt jumped up from the table to stand next to Blaine. The patrons of the shop were rushing to the windows to stare outside and look down the street. Someone at the counter dropped their phone.

A woman outside screamed.

A teenager wearing a McDonalds uniform brought out his phone to dial 9-1-1.

"Do you think that was an accident?" Blaine asked Kurt frantically, and Kurt turned to look his boyfriend in the eyes.

The second their gazes locked, Blaine seemed to understand.

"That- that was a car accident wasn't it?" Blaine asked slowly.

Kurt nodded as Blaine quickly exhaled and looked towards the window.

"That's not the first time you've heard that huh?"

Kurt shook his head. "No."

Blaine looked back at Kurt before grabbing his hand suddenly and pulling him out the door.

"Come on, let's check it out"

Kurt wanted to say no, wait, but he his thoughts were becoming clouded with doubt.

What was going on?

Blaine wasn't even in an accident his time.

He was really fine.

Was that it?

Had Kurt distracted him long enough to save him?

Was it really over?

"Damn…" Blaine said slowly as he rounded the corner, Kurt right behind him.

It was the same accident.

But different.

A small compact car was wedged between a large SUV and the pole holding the street signals in the air. The lights were swaying ominously above both of the cars as several patrons rushed to the passenger doors of both vehicles. Out of the SUV, a pair of twins were removed, but it seemed that they were having trouble with the driver.

Kurt couldn't really see what was happening in the compact car, but he noticed that at the bottom of the rear fender was a golden star.

A gold star.

"Blaine!" Kurt cried out, suddenly panicked. This hadn't happened before.

"What? Kurt, what is it?" Blaine asked him, turning around in surprise.

"That's Rachel's car!"

Blaine turned his head toward it, and back towards Kurt.

"Come on!"

Blaine pulled Kurt along with him towards the car, and they saw as they approached it that the SUV had hit the rear of the car, thankfully keeping Rachel and Mercedes' doors intact.

Blaine rushed to the driver side of the car as Kurt rushed to the passenger side, quickly opening the door.

"Cedes? Can you hear me?"

Kurt heard a grumbling from inside of the car as Mercedes slowly turned her head to face Kurt.

"Kurt? Is that you?"

Kurt laughed through his tears as he reached up to wipe them away quickly.

"Yeah, yeah, it's me. Are you okay?"

Mercedes looked at him with an all too familiar glare. "Do I look okay to you?"

Kurt smiled. "Come on, let's get you out of here"

Kurt slung Mercedes' arm around his neck as he pulled her out of the car. She groaned when they moved, but quickly assured Kurt it was nothing.

"You sure?"

"Just get me the hell out of here"

They made their way to the sidewalk and Kurt set Mercedes' down gingerly. He turned around and saw Blaine right behind them, carrying Rachel in his arms. She looked out of it still.

"Is she okay?" Kurt asked Blaine as he set Rachel down next to Mercedes.

"I think she'll be alright" Blaine said as he brushed Rachel's hair out of her face.

Kurt nodded and threw his arms around Blaine the second he stood fully upright.

"I'm just glad it wasn't you this time."

Blaine pulled away from Kurt.

"You really have been here before?"

Kurt paused for a second before he nodded. No sense in lying now. It was going to be okay.

Blaine smiled at him and wrapped his arms around Kurt's waist.

"Do you believe me now? I'm not going anywhere."

Kurt just laughed and interlocked his hands at the back of Blaine's head.

"Yeah, I believe you."

"Seriously? Can one of you two lovebirds cool it for a minute and help me out?"

Kurt looked down at Mercedes who was holding a spot on her head that appeared to be bleeding slightly.

Kurt turned back to Blaine and quickly kissed him. "Don't worry, I got it" he said before letting go of Blaine and sitting next to Mercedes on the sidewalk.

"It's alright, the ambulance should be on its way."

"Good" grumbled Mercedes as Kurt pulled off his jacket and wrapped it around her.

Kurt was still trying to make sure Mercedes was okay when someone shouted something in the distance. Kurt didn't hear, but when he turned to look who'd said it, he saw Blaine running off towards the SUV to help out the group of guys trying to get the driver out of the car.

Kurt panicked.

He abruptly stood up and yelled out.

"Blaine! No!"

Blaine was at the car and he turned towards Kurt.

"What?"

Then came the next thing Kurt was all too accustomed to seeing.

The engine of the SUV blew.

* * *

><p>Kurt paced the Emergency Room lobby.<p>

What was he thinking?

Every _time_ that accident happened at least one of the engines blew. Now the one time Blaine avoided the accident Kurt had forgotten about the dumb explosion.

Why did Blaine have to be the hero all the time?

To be fair, Kurt had been in the same position the last two times, he could forgive Blaine for this time.

"Kurt?"

Kurt turned around suddenly as he heard his name. He was slightly let down to see his dad and not Blaine, but he went to greet him regardless.

"Hey dad." Kurt said giving him a hug.

His dad squeezed him tight and Kurt forgot how much he loved his dad's hugs.

"How you doin' buddy?"

Kurt let go of his dad and smiled at him.

"I'm okay. Rachel and Mercedes are over there with the nurses and Blaine is-"

Kurt swallowed. He couldn't finish the sentence.

"The doctor told me. He'll be out of surgery soon. Don't worry."

If only his dad knew.

He wouldn't tell Kurt not to worry, he'd ask why he wasn't more worried.

"Hi, I'm sorry, are you Mr. Anderson?"

A doctor in a long white coat came over to Kurt and his dad, tepidly holding a clipboard.

Burt looked at Kurt and then back to the doctor. "Uh, sorry, I'm not."

Kurt cut off his father, speaking to the doctor. "Is that about Blaine?"

The doctor gave him a weird look and looked at the paper on the clipboard.

"Yeah. I'm sorry, but are either of you family?"

"I'm his boyfriend" Kurt said without hesitation.

Kurt heard his father let out a deep sigh next to him.

The doctor looked Kurt up and down and then frowned. "I see. Are either of you _actually _family?"

Kurt understood why his father sounded upset.

It sometimes threw Kurt off guard when he came across homophobes. In Glee Club, it didn't happen often.

"I'm as good as he's got right now" Kurt said, trying to keep his temper down.

"Well I'm sorry, we need a family member to talk to."

Someone tapped the doctor on the shoulder.

"Hi, I'm sorry, I'm Mr. Anderson. Did you say you had news on my son?"

Mr. Schuester gave Kurt a wink as the doctor turned to face him.

"Your son is in recovery ."

"Can I go see him?" Mr. Schuester asked the doctor.

"Yes, but I must warn you to prepare yourself."

Mr. Schuester looked at Kurt's concerned expression before simply asking, "For what?"

* * *

><p>"Hey Kurt, do you want to be alone?" Mr. Schuester asked Kurt as he sat next to Blaine's bed, holding his hand in his.<p>

Kurt looked up at his Spanish teacher and nodded his head.

"If you don't mind…"

"Not at all" Mr. Schuester said with a smile. "He is my son though, so you be nice" he added with a wink.

"Thanks for that Mr. Schue. You aren't worried you'll get in trouble?"

"Don't worry about me. Just wait for your man to wake up"

Kurt gave Mr. Schuester the biggest smile he could under present circumstances. "If he wakes up."

Mr. Schuester took his hand off the door where he had been moving to open it and sat down next to Kurt.

"Kurt, I've never known you to be one who gives up so easily. You alone had sole faith in your dad to wake up on his own, and I know you have enough faith in Blaine for him to wake up. The doctor said the damage wasn't too bad, and that we just needed to wait."

Kurt nodded at Mr. Schuester and turned his gaze back to Blaine's resting head.

"You're right."

But Kurt had the feeling that, despite the optimism, Mr. Schuester was wrong.

Kurt had already been here before.

Mr. Schuester gave Kurt a pat on the shoulder and finally left the hospital room.

Kurt squeezed Blaine's hand tightly.

"Blaine, if you can hear me, squeeze."

Nothing.

Kurt swallowed and scooted his chair closer to Blaine's bed.

"Blaine… If you can hear me, please, just squeeze my hand."

Nothing.

Kurt took a deep breath.

"If you can hear me, open your eyes."

Nothing.

Kurt's eyelids were starting to get droopy.

He couldn't fall asleep.

Not until Blaine woke up.

Kurt laid his head on the blankets covering Blaine's chest.

He could still hear the heartbeat.

He could hear Blaine's heart.

Kurt closed his eyes as he felt his tears start to come.

He wasn't going to wake up.

Kurt had failed.

* * *

><p>"Here we go, two medium drips, sugar expertly added by my, if I do say so myself, professional care".<p>

Kurt opened his eyes immediately this time.

Blaine was standing expectantly over him, smiling his big dapper grin as he clenched two cups of coffee in his hands, placing them on the table.

Kurt leapt out of his seat and threw his arms around Blaine's neck, causing his boyfriend to take several steps backward in surprise.

"I love you Blaine, I love you so much"

Blaine pushed Kurt off of him slightly and smiled at him.

Kurt looked at him, confused as to why he'd pushed him off.

Blaine just continued to smile as he said, "Damn. I was hoping to say that first."

"Oh" Kurt said, realizing what he'd changed on this Monday. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry" Blaine said as he pulled Kurt in for a kiss, running his fingers through Kurt's hair.

"I love you too."


	4. We Both Reached for the Gun

**Author's Note:** So this chapter isn't going to follow the same structure as the other chapters (I want to keep you guys on your toes!) but I assure you, I did the best to my ability to make sure that it still makes sense.

This chapter spans several days in Kurt's bizarre weirdo adventure. I did it that way because I need to show you what Kurt's going through all in one go so we can actually start addressing what the hell is going on. I promise; all of this is planned out. I am sort of doing it by ear, but I also have an ending and a hint of what sort of progression it's supposed to go in.

But anyway, I hope this makes sense to all of you now, but if not, I hope its purpose begins to make sense after this chapter.

In the end, this is a love story. It's about falling in love and doing anything to protect that.

So I hope I don't lose sight of that, and neither should you.

* * *

><p>Kurt Hummel was mourning. Truth be told, even though he got to see Blaine every day after he died, Kurt still mourned his boyfriend's death. Even though it was still the same Blaine every time he came back to the horrible Monday, Kurt couldn't help but be grieving for the lost of what he now called in his heat "past-Blaine", number one, two, and three.<p>

It was some comfort that no matter how the day changed or the accident changed, Blaine was still there, beaming at him, telling him he loved Kurt, and of course, being ever the good boyfriend, trying to convince Kurt to not quite give up on school yet.

If only Blaine knew.

Maybe that's what perturbed Kurt so. That Blaine _didn't _know. And Kurt was left with this knowledge on his own. Perhaps it was the burden of having to face his boyfriend's death without looking to Blaine for comfort. Even when he got the feeling that he'd be waking up at the Lima Bean, Kurt couldn't help but worry that maybe, against his prior beliefs, this would be the exception to the rule.

He'd wake up and Blaine would be dead.

And he wouldn't be able to do anything about it.

In truth, he hadn't been able to do anything about it so far despite the fact he'd already been given two valid opportunities. Death number one didn't count. Kurt didn't see that one coming.

That had been the worst.

Kurt didn't like to think about that day. It made him visibly nauseous. It may those tears he had shed that day come back in full. It was all he could do to choke back sobs and hope the patrons of the Lima Bean, and more importantly Blaine, didn't ask what was wrong.

Because where could he start?

Everything was wrong. Kurt was losing his boyfriend over and over again. And even though Blaine had settled back into his seat across from Kurt, absentmindedly sipping his coffee over his smile, Kurt was grieving.

And everyone goes through the seven steps.

No exceptions.

Not even if your boyfriend keeps magically coming back to life.

* * *

><p><strong>SHOCK AND DENIAL<strong>

_You will probably react to learning of the loss with numbed disbelief. You may deny the reality of the loss at some level, in order to avoid the pain. Shock provides emotional protection from being overwhelmed all at once._

* * *

><p>"So what are you going to do in your last week of school? Sing every day? Study French? If I get a vote, I suggest the latter because you know how flawlessly it makes me swoon."<p>

Kurt looked up from his cup and smiled lightly, nodding barely in agreement. "Yeah, sure."

Blaine looked at Kurt sadly for a moment, before turning his attention back to his cup, pretending to read the writing around the cup.

This couldn't really be happening could it? Kurt had to actually be insane. This doesn't happen. Not to anyone. Not that Kurt had heard of at least.

Blaine was dead right? Or maybe not. Maybe this whole range of Mondays was a ridiculous dream. Kurt was going to wake up after this particular dream, in his bed, to his loud alarm sounding in his ear. He'd panic that he might have slept in, late to coffee with Blaine. Then he'd rush on over to the Lima Bean and apologize profusely for his tardiness.

Blaine would just laugh and smile as if it was nothing. Come on Kurt, at least you're here now.

Here with me.

Kurt would smile and think about how much he wanted to kiss his boyfriend the entire time he was forced to sit in the coffee shop. And if he was lucky, Blaine might just oblige.

It'd be a normal day for a normal teenager in love.

In love.

And then Kurt knew. The first Monday had happened.

Kurt wouldn't make up "I love you" in his head. I love you was special. Kurt wouldn't have simply imagined the first time Blaine said it. He wouldn't dream about Blaine saying that to him.

His dream were preoccupied with much more than PG thoughts of Blaine.

Kurt blushed at the thought.

"Kurt, you're blushing" Blaine said, his attention taken off of the cup.

Kurt smiled at Blaine, the first true smile he'd given him since this whole thing had started.

"Not that it's not cute! It's definitely adorable!" Blaine said gushing over Kurt.

Not that Kurt minded in the slightest.

But Blaine's attention was once again focused on stray items around the Lima Bean. He was trying to distract himself because of Kurt's lack of response. Kurt knew the feeling.

"This isn't real is it?"

Blaine's eyes locked onto Kurt's, full of questions and curiosity.

"What isn't real Kurt?"

"Any of it"

Blaine inhaled and frowned slightly at Kurt. "I like to think it's real."

"Not you and me Blaine, just, just today."

Blaine opened his mouth to say something, but Kurt interrupted him.

"Never mind, I don't know what I'm thinking."

Blaine tried to produce a smile out of his grimace, but he failed. Still, Kurt heard the earnestness and honesty in his next words.

"I love you, you know."

Kurt closed his eyes and took a deep breath. That horrible feeling of all of his tears rushing to cloud his vision at once was returning. And he hated that feeling.

"I'm going to go Kurt. I'll see you after school" Blaine said, and Kurt felt him brush past his shoulder.

Kurt opened his eyes and stood up abruptly, turning to go after Blaine. He grabbed his elbow as he said quickly, "Wait, Blaine, I-"

Blaine grabbed Kurt's hand as he turned to face him, and put his other hand up to Kurt's face, brushing his cheekbone with his thumb and smiling at him in an adoring way.

"You don't have to say it back. Not yet. Just tell me when you know it's the right time. If it becomes the right time okay? I don't want to rush you."

Blaine leaned in and gave Kurt a light peck on the cheek before turning around and exiting the Lima Bean.

A minute later the crash sounded loudly outside.

This time, Kurt didn't bother to look along with all of the other patrons and he didn't rush outside.

This was happening, and this was real.

It was time to accept that.

* * *

><p><strong>PAIN AND GUILT<strong>

_As the shock wears off, it is replaced with the suffering of unbelievable pain. Although excruciating and almost unbearable, it is important that you experience the pain fully, and not hide it, avoid it or escape from it with alcohol or drugs._

_You may have guilty feelings or remorse over things you did or didn't do with your loved one. Life feels chaotic and scary during this phase._

* * *

><p>"I was thinking we should take a trip"<p>

"What?"

"Like a road trip. This summer you know? We could go somewhere far away. It'd be cool you know? Tour the country and all that jazz."

"I'm not sure that's the proper context Blaine."

"Regardless. We'd have fun, just you and me you know?"

"Just you and me…"

"Yeah. We'd have all the time in the world and we could spend it however we wanted."

"_However _we wanted?"

"Your mind is filthy Kurt."

"Don't pretend like you don't like it."

"I should have never given your father the idea for those pamphlets."

"You tease! I knew it was you."

"Of course."

"Of course."

"So, what do you say? A road trip? Just me and you? Sunsets, highways, greasy burger joints, a spare hitchhiker or two?"

"All the time in the world huh?"

"All the time in the world. I just want to be with you Kurt."

Kurt paused and looked at Blaine. He was smiling sloppily over the top of his cup, his apparent excitement about this road trip he'd clearly thought through was perfectly evident. And as much as Kurt had been trying to ignore it these past few days, mostly because it just made losing him harder, Kurt thought Blaine was beautiful. His dark brown curly hair stopping just above those awesome triangular eyebrows and his grin that put shame to the sunshine on the brightest of days.

Kurt would never get tired of Blaine smiling. No matter how many times he had to watch him die, that smile, it took the pain away. Even if it was only for just a moment.

Even if Blaine did eventually die for real at the end of all this, Kurt wouldn't forget that smile. It'd be impossible. Unbearable to imagine.

Tears were at the surface of Kurt's vision once again, and he tried to smile to push them back.

"I just want to be with you too"

Blaine's smile evaporated rapidly once he heard the tears hiding in Kurt's tone.

"Hey, hey. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you. I take back whatever it was"

Kurt's face started to scrunch, the wrinkles appearing on his chin as his eyes began to water more fervently, his vision becoming severely blurred.

"You didn't do anything wrong, Blaine. You're perfect."

Blaine nodded as Kurt spoke, reaching out and stroking Kurt's hand slowly with a tender smile.

"I love you Kurt. I love you so much."

Kurt wiped a tear on his cheek away with his free hand as he laughed bitterly, not at Blaine, but at the situation.

"Yeah, I know. I love you too."

"Okay, okay. So that's not what you're crying about? You- You love me too…"

"Yeah. I love you" Kurt said with a sad smile, no longer able to look at Blaine.

This was all his fault. He couldn't save him. He'd tried. He'd stopped Blaine from getting in the accident only to have him killed by something else. And no matter how many times he was placed right back here in this Lima Bean it never stopped hurting when he heard that crashing noise outside. It never stopped making him want to die when he was left waiting in the hospital, patient bed or emergency room.

It never stopped making Kurt hate himself for not being able to stop it. For not being able to save Blaine.

Kurt didn't realize he was crying until he felt Blaine's chair move next to his.

"Kurt? What's wrong? I love you… So much. You can tell me anything."

Kurt turned his head to face Blaine and he smiled while also wiping away some of the tears he hadn't managed to stop.

"I'm so sorry Blaine. I'm really sorry I couldn't save you- That I can't save you. I'm really really sorry."

Blaine looked at Kurt with growing concern, tilting his head slightly to the side and frowning. "I don't understand-"

"I don't expect you to" Kurt said cutting him off. "I just wanted you to know that I'm sorry. I wish that I could save you. I really do. I want to have all of the time in the world with you. I want that road trip."

"Then we'll take it! I was serious about that. I want to spend all that time in the world with you. I want to be with you."

Kurt looked back down at his lap and gave a sad laugh as the tears continued to come sparingly.

"Yeah, I know. I can't wait."

Blaine squeezed his shoulder slightly before the sound of "T.G.I.F." came out of his pocket.

Blaine pulled his phone out and answered it, giving short answers and cutting off the person on the other end of the line.

"I've gotta go Kurt" Blaine said slowly. "Can I see you after school?"

Kurt didn't say anything.

Blaine stood up, leaning down to give Kurt a quick kiss on the head, and moving towards the shop door.

"I don't suppose I can convince you to stay can I?" Kurt said quietly.

Blaine turned around and gave Kurt a sympathetic smile.

"I would if I could Kurt. I'll see you later okay?"

Kurt didn't even bother nodding.

About 10 minutes later, Kurt got a call.

Carole was sobbing.

Burt had to say it.

Blaine was gone.

Kurt closed his phone and placed it on the coffee table next to Blaine's medium drip, still warm.

And he didn't stop crying even as he fell asleep that night in his own bed for the first time on these Mondays.

* * *

><p><strong>ANGER AND BARGAINING<strong>

_Frustration gives way to anger, and you may lash out and lay unwarranted blame for the death on someone else. Please try to control this, as permanent damage to your relationships may result. This is a time for the release of bottled up emotion._

_You may rail against fate, questioning "Why me?" You may also try to bargain in vain with the powers that be for a way out of your despair__._

* * *

><p>Maybe if he could just figure out what they wanted. Whoever <em>they<em> are. Whoever the _hell_ they are. What could they want with him anyway?

Why couldn't he just know?

He'd give it up, whatever they wanted.

They could even have him. They could take him. They could have all of him. He wasn't much without Blaine anyway. He didn't want to _be _anything without Blaine.

He wasn't anything without Blaine.

It wasn't fair.

It wasn't _fair_.

He was forced to relive every day without Blaine. Every damn day. And even Blaine couldn't console him. Because he didn't understand. He didn't know. He couldn't hold Kurt and whisper sweet comforts in his ear about how everything was going to be okay.

He wouldn't ask for all of the time in the world. He wouldn't beg Kurt for more time. He wouldn't beg for sunsets and long drives and lying out on the beach.

And Kurt wanted all of those things. He wanted time with Blaine.

More time.

But he didn't know how to get it.

_I will give you anything…_ _Just tell me what you want._

"What the _hell_ do you want?" Kurt shouted, before clasping his hand over his mouth, realizing that he had said his last thoughts out loud.

Blaine looked over from the counter where he was buying their coffee with a confused look, before quickly paying the clerk and making his way back to their table.

"Did you just yell at the air?" Blaine asked with a bemused expression.

"Yeah, maybe I did" Kurt spat out, not really understanding why he was taking his frustration out on Blaine.

Blaine frowned at Kurt and sat back down in his seat in surprise.

"There's no need to be so cross… Last time _I_ checked I didn't do anything wrong."

"Yeah well, there's no need to judge every little thing I do."

Blaine opened his mouth, aghast. Kurt was acting very strange. "_What_? Are you insane? Did I _imagine_ that you just shouted at the empty chair across from you? Don't get mad at me for being concerned Kurt. I _won't_ apologize for it."

"Yeah, well, you- You sounded like you thought I was crazy. Actually, you _just_ asked if I was insane. You did! You asked if I was crazy. I'm not crazy Blaine, I'm not!"

Kurt realized what he was saying as it was coming out of his mouth. He wasn't angry at Blaine, not really. He hated himself for doing it, but he had to take his anger out on something. On someone. He wasn't given many options. He was always put here. With Blaine. In the coffee shop. No one else would give him a chance. And he was so angry. So damn angry.

Why was he so helpless?

"It's an _expression_, Kurt. I didn't actually think you were insane. You're just- You're lashing out! You're getting angry for no reason! You're actually yelling at me in the middle of us sitting here getting coffee! I didn't do anything wrong Kurt… Why are you so angry?"

Kurt swallowed and bit his lip hesitantly.

"I just- Don't call me crazy. I'm not crazy."

Blaine was still staring hard at Kurt, tentative to respond immediately.

"I didn't call you crazy. It's an expression."

"Yeah, well, it sounded like an accusation"

"It _wasn't_ Kurt. You just started yelling at me and I wanted to know why."

"Maybe I don't have a reason. Can I not just get pissed off sometimes? Can't I get angry?"

"You know what Kurt? Sure. Get angry. Get angry all you want. But not at me Kurt, _not_ at me. I don't deserve it and I don't appreciate it."

Kurt didn't say anything. He felt terrible.

"Get it together Kurt. I'll see you later" Blaine said abruptly as he left before their coffee even came.

"Blaine…"

"Not now Kurt. I need- I just need to go before I say something I'm gonna regret. Even though you already beat me to it."

And with that Blaine stormed out of the shop. He was right. Kurt already regretted half of the things he was saying.

The clerk at the counter called out, "Kurt and Blaine!"

Kurt looked at the ground, ashamed.

If only it were so simple as shouting out Kurt and Blaine. If only staying together were that easy.

Kurt found himself surveying the empty chair across from him once again.

"What the _fuck_ do you want from me?"

Outside, a crash sounded. Kurt looked up, surprised, before he cursed himself.

Come on Kurt, you know why you're here.

He was ashamed that he'd almost managed to forget.

It'd felt nice though.

Even if it meant fighting with Blaine.

It panged him to realize that Blaine hadn't said "I love you" this time.

* * *

><p><strong>DEPRESSION, RELFECTION, AND LONELINESS<strong>

_During this time, you finally realize the true magnitude of your loss, and it depresses you. You may isolate yourself on purpose, reflect on things you did with your lost one, and focus on memories of the past. You may sense feelings of emptiness or despair._

* * *

><p>What was he supposed to do?<p>

What was there to do?

He really couldn't do anything.

He couldn't treat Blaine like how he deserved to be treated.

He couldn't even save him.

He'd tried.

He'd yelled.

He'd cried.

He'd even wished he could die.

With Blaine.

All Kurt really wanted to do was be with Blaine. He just wanted to sit in that coffee shop, maybe forever.

Forever sounded really nice.

But Kurt wasn't being granted forever. Kurt got fifteen minute periods in the Lima Bean where he and Blaine were granted simple banter and sweet musings about the future.

Blaine kept saying "I love you".

And Kurt kept saying it back. Because Kurt loved Blaine, he really did.

But that's where it ended.

Kurt got a few minutes and then Blaine was gone. He kept on dying.

Kurt was left to be all alone. Alone forever.

"Thanks for meeting me before you had to go to school! I didn't want to wait until you got out."

Kurt couldn't bring himself to look at Blaine.

Sure, he was here now.

But in less than an hour, he'd be gone.

Then Kurt would get several hours of people saying things would be alright, promising they'd be there for him, and all Kurt could do was pray that he'd get a chance to fall asleep.

But mostly he prayed that when he did fall asleep, Blaine would be there when he'd wake up.

Because as much as he hated living like this, getting small amounts of time before having to spend the rest of the day in hospitals and telling people he'd be okay, the thought of really _really_ never seeing Blaine again was unimaginable.

Grief he may have, but he was mourning a normal life.

Blaine was still here.

Even if it was only for now.

"You're looking oddly morose Kurt."

"Am I?" Kurt said absentmindedly, taking a sip of the coffee he'd bought before Blaine got there.

"Come on Kurt, you won't even look at me."

"We're all just alone in this world aren't we?"

Blaine shook his head, evidently shocked by Kurt's random question.

"I'd like to think that that isn't true, actually."

"Really? Well then good for you."

Kurt took a moment to collect his thoughts. He didn't want a repeat of yesterday. He was done being angry. Now? He was just trying to be happy for Blaine. After all, _this_ Blaine didn't know what was happening.

This Blaine deserved to be treated with kindness.

"Do you think you're alone in this world Kurt? Am I really not enough for you?"

Kurt looked up and smiled at Blaine lightly.

"You're enough Blaine. I just- I don't know. I wish we had more time."

Blaine frowned at Kurt before he returned Kurt's light smile.

"We could have all the time in the world you know."

It was breaking Kurt's heart.

Blaine's optimism was almost contagious.

Almost.

"I wish that were true."

"I love you Kurt. I _want_ to spend all the time in the world with you. You're not alone. You are _not_ alone. I want to be with you for as long as you'll let me. I want all the time we can have. Please don't think you're alone. I wouldn't want that for you. I love you. You aren't alone. Not when you're with me"

Kurt looked up at Blaine.

"I love you too."

Blaine smiled at Kurt and nodded with a certain sort of victory.

And Kurt laughed, surprising even himself at his change in mood.

"You look ridiculous when you're proud of yourself."

Blaine mock-frowned at Kurt. "That's not very nice" he said jokingly.

Kurt smiled, realizing that he missed flirting with Blaine.

A crash sounded outside.

Blaine's attention shifted to the window and then back to Kurt. "What do you think that was?"

Kurt sighed, knowing what was coming next.

"Why don't you go see?"

Blaine grabbed Kurt's hand. "Come with me."

And Kurt did.

Kurt had forgotten what it felt like to be hit by an exploding engine.

It didn't feel good.

But Kurt learned a lesson this time around.

When he died too, he was sent back to the Lima Bean much faster.

* * *

><p><strong>THE UPWARD TURN<strong>

_As you start to adjust to life without your dear one, your life becomes a little calmer and more organized. Your physical symptoms lessen, and your "depression" begins to lift slightly._

* * *

><p>"What do you honestly think of Dalton?"<p>

Kurt arched an eyebrow on his forehead and smirked slightly at Blaine.

"Why do you ask?"

"Oh, I don't know. It's just kind of lonely over there. I mean, being the lead for the Warblers is great, but, I don't know. Is it bad to want to share the spotlight?"

Kurt shook his head. "Nah. Sometimes it can be a bit much. Although, I must say that I don't really have a lot of experience here. It's mostly Rachel giving me her solos rather than the other way around."

Blaine nodded, and took a sip of his coffee.

"What's New Directions like?"

"It's fine. A lot of diversity in comparison to the top 40 obsession your team seems to have."

Blaine actually laughed at that one. "My team huh? Not too long ago they were your team too."

"Yeah well, not so much anymore."

"Well, maybe the same will go for me too."

Kurt lowered his coffee. This conversation was new.

All of their conversations were generally the same. The actual matter had changed, there was an "I love you" somewhere, and then it was over.

But Blaine was bringing up something Kurt hadn't heard before.

This was new.

"How do you mean?"

Blaine too put down his coffee and looked at Kurt seriously.

"What if I transferred? To McKinley?"

"What?"

Blaine suddenly became flustered. "I mean- It was just a suggestion, I don't have to you know…"

"No, Blaine, I think it's a great idea! I mean, I would love to have you there!"

Blaine burst into a giant grin.

"Really?"

Kurt broke into an equally as wide grin. "Really really."

"Don't quote Shrek at me Hummel, you might make me blush."

"I'd love it if you came to McKinley Blaine, because frankly, I love-"

Kurt smiled. The last time he beat Blaine to it, Blaine had been less than happy about it.

Blaine arched an eyebrow at Kurt.

"You love what Kurt?"

Kurt just continued smiling. "I love hanging out with you Blaine."

Blaine grinned knowingly at Kurt. "Well, Kurt Hummel. I love _you_."

Kurt paused only momentarily before adding, "I love you too."

Blaine leaned closer to Kurt and Kurt leaned closer to Blaine. Blaine just smiled and said, "I knew it."

Rachel and Finn walked through the door of the shop.

They talked to Kurt and Blaine.

They had to leave.

So did Blaine.

A crash sounded outside.

And despite the panic, the rushing medics, the hospital, for the first time, Kurt was feeling a bit calmer.

* * *

><p><strong>RECONSTRUCTION AND WORKING THROUGH<strong>

_As you become more functional, your mind starts working again, and you will find yourself seeking realistic solutions to problems posed by life without your loved one. You will start to work on practical and financial problems and reconstructing yourself and your life without him or her._

* * *

><p>"Can I ask you an honest question?"<p>

Blaine nodded without looking at Kurt.

"When do you think we'll break up? I mean, how long do you think we'll last?"

Blaine looked at Kurt with incredulity.

"How long we'll last? Kurt, why are you talking like this?"

Kurt shrugged. "I don't know. I guess I'm just trying to work all this out. I don't know what to think about _this_."

Kurt was actually talking about his own personal situation. His living day to day with Blaine dying. Blaine dying over and over again. He needed to rethink things.

He needed to start making a plan. Finding the purpose to all of this. Find out what was next.

"Why are you talking like this Kurt?"

"Honestly Blaine. Where does your future take you?"

Blaine was frowning at Kurt. "Kurt, what- what are you doing? Do you want to break up with me?"

Kurt shook his head sadly. "No Blaine, I don't. Just answer me honestly. Where are you in 5 years?"

"I don't know what you want from me Kurt. We've been dating for 4 months, how am I supposed to know what we're doing in 5 years?"

Kurt smiled slightly. Blaine had said 'we'.

"I didn't ask about us Blaine, I asked about you."

Blaine smiled for the first time since the conversation started. "I guess I was hoping that there was a future for us."

"Now that's an honest answer. A future would be nice."

"Do you see a future? Between us?" Blaine asked tentatively.

Kurt didn't like to think about it. He needed a plan. To get out of this. This never ending loop. He couldn't talk about a future when Blaine wouldn't be around to remember their conversation.

"I'd like to."

Blaine smiled at him. "That's my answer. I don't know how long we'll last. I hope it'll be a long time, but I don't know. All I see is a future. I don't know how far that future stretches, but we'll see right?"

"Beautifully spoken."

"To the future" Blaine toasted with his coffee cup.

Kurt didn't want to live without Blaine. In fact, he was learning how to live only with Blaine. Even though he was dying, he was spending days on end with Blaine. Sure, mourning his death was a downside, but Blaine was there.

And he wanted to be there.

For as long as possible.

Blaine didn't want to go anywhere.

And it pained Kurt to know that it wasn't really Blaine's choice.

Blaine was going to die, again.

Kurt would be left to wonder why.

But at least in the middle he'd get to have coffee with his boyfriend.

"Future will have to wait Kurt, I've gotta run."

Kurt looked up, and for the first time, smiled and kissed Blaine goodbye as he left the coffee shop.

He only flinched slightly as the crash sounded outside.

It was time to find a realistic situation.

* * *

><p><strong>ACCEPTANCE AND HOPE<strong>

_During this, the last of the seven stages in this grief model, you learn to accept and deal with the reality of your situation. Acceptance does not necessarily mean instant happiness. Given the pain and turmoil you have experienced, you can never return to the carefree, untroubled you that existed before this tragedy. But you will find a way forward._

_You will start to look forward and actually plan things for the future. Eventually, you will be able to think about your lost loved one without pain; sadness, yes, but the wrenching pain will be gone. You will once again anticipate some good times to come, and yes, even find joy again in the experience of living._

* * *

><p>Kurt was still musing over his thoughts of the future when Blaine sat down across from him. The future.<p>

The future was still looking far away. Kurt didn't see any sign of this ending.

He hadn't been given any sign at all.

He still didn't know what was supposed to come from this.

He still didn't know what was supposed to happen.

He didn't know what was going to happen when this was over.

If it was ever over.

Would it ever be over?

Kurt had finally begun to accept the routine of this situation, no matter how horribly morose and sick it sounded.

Blaine was continually dying and he couldn't stop it.

Sometimes Kurt would die too. Sometimes he'd get injured. But sometimes he'd just give him a kiss and send him on his way.

Sometimes he felt guilty about it. But it just _was_. That's how things went.

Kurt was accepting it.

He loved Blaine, but Blaine was dying.

Over and over again.

"Hey Kurt?"

"Yeah Blaine?"

"This may sound out of the blue, but I love you."

Kurt pretended to be surprised momentarily.

"I love you too."

Blaine smiled at him. "Glad to hear it."

Truth be told, so was Kurt.

No matter how many times he did.


	5. Take a Chance on Me

**Author's Note:** So, in your reviews, some of you have been asking questions. I've replied with a PM to (hopefully) all of them, but for those of you wanting to ask the same questions, I've decided to reiterate the answers here. I'll just post the one specific part of the question, and if it doesn't make sense to you, you can read the full review from the list of reviews.

Also, if you'd like to be kept perfectly in the dark about what the hell is happening, don't read these. I tend to put people's minds to rest over these issues of lingering questions, so I have eliminated several possibilities in the following questions. So, if you're a real dedicated reader, skip the questions. The story will be more entertaining if you don't receive the answers quite yet.

* * *

><p>SilverWhiteDragon (Chapter 1) asked: Kurt's not going to wake up at the end and have Blaine not dead be all a dream is he?<p>

I don't want to give away the ending, but I will say that this isn't just some mindless drabble musing about the possibility of Blaine dying. Let me rephrase. It's not a dream in the sense that it's all in his head. Kurt's not going to just wake up. This is bigger than that.

* * *

><p>kurtcoblaine-klainetrain (Chapter 2) asked: I have an idea of where you're going with this, but it's currently not clicking and it's annoying me lol.. so help me?<p>

Where I'm going with this, I admit, is confusing. Simply put, I wanted to write a story about love and how far one can be willing to go for it. I've always been intrigued by the bonds of love and the strength it holds against different obstacles, so I decided to hurl a giant one at my favorite pairing and kind of see where it goes. I have my ending in mind now, and this story won't go on much longer. I hope that helped :)

* * *

><p>Aledda (Chapter 2) asked: I'm very intrigued by this. I'm assuming this is a Groundhog Day type deal where Kurt has to relive Monday over and over until he gets it right. But what would make it right?<p>

I know this question is probably rhetorical, but I said I would answer all questions, and I keep my promises. That being said, I shall answer with a very vague, you'll just have to find out.

* * *

><p>TheLuciferPerson (Chapter 2) asked: Was the kiss at the end a hallucination, or was it real? I mean, is Blaine definitely dead or not?<p>

All I can say without giving too much away is that this is very much real. Maybe not the type of reality we're used to, but this is all happening. Kurt's not imagining things, however much he wishes he could be.

* * *

><p>Raven Black (Chapter 2) asked: Is this like premonition?<p>

Funnily enough, I started writing it like that, but no, it isn't.

* * *

><p>amaryllis55 (Chapter 1) asked: Is [the story] at all based on Before I Fall by Lauren Oliver?<p>

Sadly, no. I have never read that book, but at your recommendation, I shall check it out.

* * *

><p>swfdgirl37 (Chapter 4) asked: I think [Kurt] would get kind of, I don't know, lonely? Living like that after such a long time, you still get to talk to people, but if it's the same thing over and over again, you'd really start to feel alone. Does that make sense?<p>

Kurt is very very lonely. Of course he's happy that he keeps seeing Blaine, but even though it's the same Blaine, it's a Blaine he can no longer tell all of his secrets to. He can't confide in Blaine his fears and his loneliness because he's so afraid of Blaine thinking he's crazy or going insane. Kurt avoids this because deep down, he thinks he is too. I personally think Blaine would be very accepting, but because of Kurt's past, I get the feeling that he's not used to assuming people will be accepting. Sorry, long answer. But yes. Makes perfect sense.

* * *

><p>Thanks again to all of my lovely readers and especially those who take the time to review! I love your feedback and it makes me feel like I'm actually writing for an audience rather than to just humor myself. That being said, I believe there are 3 more chapters left on this crazy ride, so hold on tight! We're almost to the end.<p>

Also, I'm sorry I didn't keep up with my updating once every day. I had a Darren Criss concert in San Antonio to go to ;)

* * *

><p><strong>DAY 25<strong>

Kurt's not exactly sure what to think anymore. He's not even sure what's real anymore. He doesn't even know what's happening or why. And that's frustrating as hell. Especially when your boyfriend keeps dying. Even more especially when he loves you.

Even more so when you love him too.

It's not that Kurt was frustrated about what was happening anymore. He was honestly tired of Blaine dying. It was taking a toll on Kurt, even if Blaine didn't notice.

But Kurt didn't want him to notice. He just wanted him to be happy for whatever time he could give him.

Even if he wouldn't remember it the next day.

Kurt would remember. And at the end of all this? Kurt wanted to say he made Blaine happy. He wanted to be able to say that no matter what, Blaine still loved him and that Kurt had done nothing to threaten that.

"So are you ready for your last week?" Blaine asked, sitting across from him as he handed Kurt his medium drip.

Kurt smiled at him. "Not really, but I think I'll make it."

25 days. Kurt started to wonder when he'd lose track.

* * *

><p><strong>DAY 39<strong>

He wasn't losing track. Not yet at least. It seemed kind of sadistic.

So, how many times has your boyfriend died?

Me? Oh just 39 different times. It's been _great_.

Kurt could hear the sarcasm in his own mind. It was fitting.

As he looked around the coffee shop, Kurt started to wonder silently what would happen if he randomly started conversation with one of these people.

Or what if he burned the place down?

That'd be a nice change in the monotony of it all.

"They had coconut mochas!" Blaine said smiling as he sat down.

Kurt smiled back. "Great."

He could always burn it down another day. You know, just to see what might happen.

* * *

><p><strong>DAY 74<strong>

Okay, _now_ he needed a break from the monotony of it all. He'd had 74 different conversations of essentially the same type of school talk.

Come on Kurt, school blah blah blah.

It'll be fine blah. See you later blah.

I love you.

You too.

Talk to you later blah?

Blah blah fucking blah.

And Kurt didn't normally curse. Not even in his own mind. Things were different for sure. Kurt didn't even have to wonder if he liked it. He hated it.

Even the positives he'd been able to pick out were fading in their relevance.

Yeah, okay, he got to see Blaine. But they weren't going _anywhere_. Blaine would forget these memories. And Kurt wouldn't.

What if in the future he wanted to reference something funny Blaine had once said during these conversations? What if the real world and the death world started mixing?

What then?

This was a trap. A horrible trap. And Kurt wasn't living in it anymore.

At least not for today.

Kurt looked up from his seat and Blaine still hadn't returned from the bathroom. Kurt grabbed his bag and headed for the door.

He ignored his phone ringing several times on the way home and the constant buzz from the texts.

He got home and walked straight to his room. He was exhausted. It felt as though he hadn't slept in 80 years. Or around 80 days. He needed a break.

Maybe he could sleep since he hadn't heard about Blaine dying yet.

5 hours later, he discovered, yeah, he could. He glanced at his phone. 50 missed calls.

It'd probably happened. But Kurt couldn't face it. Not today.

"Kurt?"

Kurt looked up suddenly towards the door to his bedroom. Finn was standing there looking at Kurt with a mix of horror and sadness.

"I've been calling and calling, why haven't you answered?"

Kurt shrugged simply. "Tired I guess."

Finn walked towards Kurt's bed and sat down on the end of it, near the edge.

"You skipped school."

"It's the last week."

"Yeah, well, still."

"Why'd you call 50 times Finn?"

Finn swallowed and looked down at his feet.

"I need you to come with me."

"Why?"

Kurt didn't know why he was egging the conversation on. He knew where. He knew what was happening.

"The hospital. It's Blaine, Kurt. He's hurt."

Hurt?

"Hurt?"

"Yeah. He was in an accident. He's okay though!" Finn corrected quickly mistaking the hope on Kurt's face as terror at the news.

"He's awake?"

"When I left, yeah. He had to have his arm splinted and stuff. He said you left him at the coffee shop Kurt."

Kurt shook his head, ignoring Finn's last comment. "Take me to the hospital. Right now."

"That's kinda why I'm here. Answer your damn phone next time."

"Alright _dad_"

Finn rolled his eyes but still followed Kurt out of the room.

But Kurt didn't make it to the hospital on time.

Blaine had suffered from internal bleeding that they didn't catch in time.

Kurt felt a certain amount of guilt for leaving and thought this wasted opportunity was a way of punishing him for leaving Blaine.

He wouldn't make that mistake again.

74 days down, an eternity to go.

* * *

><p><strong>DAY 93<strong>

Honestly though. What _if_ he burned the coffee shop down? Was being charged with arson strong enough to break this thing?

* * *

><p><strong>DAY 126<strong>

It was hard to describe the feeling Kurt felt once he realized that he had officially doubled his relationship time with Blaine. They'd be at 8 months now. It'd be January.

He and Blaine would be sipping cocoa, singing Baby It's Cold Outside, and actually be able to appreciate the meaning this time.

And suddenly, Kurt was nostalgic for things that weren't happening. He was nostalgic for making memories and wondering what the next day would bring.

As simple as it seemed, he missed Glee Club. He missed dinner with his family. He missed shopping with Mercedes. He even missed weird sleepovers with Rachel.

But still, Kurt remained in the coffee shop. He'd thought several times about other options for leaving this relationship.

What if breaking up with Blaine broke the pattern?

What if killing him did?

But Kurt couldn't do it. No matter how many days he spent with Blaine reliving his worst nightmare, he still loved him.

He'd still been waiting for him forever.

He'd been looking his whole life for Blaine.

Call it fate, call it anything you want. All Kurt knew was that he found Blaine. And Blaine had found him.

Some might mock it, call it puppy love, teenager love, simple love.

But they would have to trust Kurt on this. You know _nothing_ about love until you see your better half die more times than you've seen them live.

If it's still worth it, then you'll know.

You were meant for each other.

"Hey Kurt?"

Kurt looked up from his coffee and his muddled thoughts to stare into Blaine's perfectly brown eyes boring back into him. That would never get old. He'd never get tired of those eyes.

"Blaine?"

"I love you."

Kurt didn't need to pause this time. He knew. He always would. "Love you too."

Blaine sipped his coffee looking really proud of himself.

Kurt just smiled to himself.

Later, at the hospital, he sat next to Blaine's hospital bed. His hand was intertwined with Blaine's, and his head was resting on his chest, listening and feeling him take in deep breaths.

"Blaine" Kurt said out loud, not really intending to.

Whatever. It didn't really matter. He just needed to say this.

"I know I've said I love you a lot. I know that I've said it in response to you and I know we're young and I know we've only been dating 4 months, and I know, I _know_ what people will say. I know that no matter where we go people will judge us. I know that there will be those who would wish harm on us. I know that, I do. But I also know that I don't care. I don't care what people say or what they think about us because guess what Blaine? It wasn't just words. I do love you. I really do. And even 120 days into this horrible whatever you call it mess, I still believe it. I even know it to be more true than it was before. Maybe some bonds grow weaker over time. Not ours. Seeing you die and suffer is horrible, I'm not arguing that. I hate seeing you in so much pain. But every time I wake up in that coffee shop I'm thankful you're here another day. I know I complain inside sometimes that I'm lonely or whatever. But that's only because I can't face what I would do if you actually died. If you were really no longer here. Because I can't bear it, I couldn't. This is already miserable enough. If it were real? There are no words"

Kurt lifted his head off of Blaine's chest and looked at his closed eyes and the beads of sweat dripping down his face.

"I love you Blaine Anderson. It's weird to say at 16 that I know this is it, but it's not. You are it. I have been spending day after day in your presence, and yeah, it gets tedious. It gets monotonous. But every time I look into your eyes or hear you speak I forget that. I remember why I'm there. I'm there because you woke up specifically early enough to see me off to school. I'm there because you like to buy me coffee and give me kisses in the morning. I'm there because after months of debating the right time you decided to tell me what we've both known since the day Pavorotti died. You love me. And I don't think I could ever tire of hearing that Blaine. Not in this lifetime, not in a million"

Kurt smiled at Blaine's resting figure.

"Whenever we get out of this, I'm going to tell you I love you every day, I won't forget ever. I won't let myself. And you don't have to always say it back. Especially not when I accidentally delete your recording of SportsCenter or make weird sexy faces. But I promise you I'll always say it back. No matter how angry I am. This experience has taught me to love what you have while you have it. And I love you Blaine Anderson. I'm not going to let you forget it."

"That's really sweet Kurt."

Kurt whipped around in his chair.

"_Christ_ Berry! Don't sneak up on people like that!"

"Sorry."

Kurt took a deep breath and dropped Blaine's hand, turning his chair more towards her. He gestured to the empty chair next to him.

"It's fine. Sit."

Rachel hesitated before moving slowly towards the chair next to him. "I don't want to interrupt."

"It's alright, I'm done."

"I think he can hear you. It looks like he's smiling."

Kurt glanced back at Blaine quickly before laughing slightly.

"That's just his face Rachel."

"Oh" Rachel said quietly, twisting her hands in her lap, looking as if she had so much to say but no way to phrase the words in her brain.

"I'm so sorry Kurt. You don't deserve this."

"I don't think anyone really does. But stuff happens."

Rachel nodded and bit her bottom lip. "Are you okay Kurt?"

"Do you expect me to be?"

Rachel shook her head violently. "No, of course not. I just- I wish you could be. He's going to wake up you know."

Kurt looked away from Rachel and down at Blaine. His hand moved up to Blaine's head, running his fingers through the curls that were running rampant there since Blaine was out of school and therefore gel free. Kurt liked the feeling. It was comforting.

"Yeah, maybe."

* * *

><p><strong>DAY 127<strong>

He hadn't. Of course he hadn't.

* * *

><p><strong>DAY 200<strong>

"Kurt, I love you."

Kurt smiled at Blaine. He wasn't in the mood to break his promise today.

"I love you too."

Kurt wanted to tell him a hundred times.

_Then do it_.

Kurt looked around the room. It was like he'd said it, but not quite. It was more like a whisper into his ear. Like someone was whispering thoughts into his brain. And it was different. Very different.

"I love you so much Blaine."

Blaine's grin broadened. "Me too Kurt. I've wanted to tell you for forever."

_See?_ _Go with instinct. Works well._

Okay, these were not his thoughts. They were, kinder? They sounded sweet and encouraging. _His_ thoughts had been on the more morose side of late.

He really just wanted to be with Blaine somewhere other than the coffee shop. They'd spent so much time in here.

_Then leave._

Kurt wanted to. But Blaine normally died before they could get anywhere.

_Just try it_.

I _have_. Kurt whispered back, surprised at his own disregard of his sanity.

_Trust me_.

Kurt looked across the table towards Blaine.

"Do you trust me?"

Blaine's face twisted instantly to one of great confusion. "Of course."

Kurt reached his hand across the table and grabbed Blaine's. "Then come with me."

Blaine obliged, following Kurt as Kurt dragged him across the parking lot towards his car. Kurt dropped Blaine's hand to climb into the driver's side, gesturing for Blaine to do the same.

Blaine closed his door behind him and glanced over at Kurt.

"What're we doing?"

Kurt just smiled out of the corner of his mouth. "You'll see."

Kurt had to drive for 15 minutes before he'd allowed himself to relax. He'd tried this before. At around fifty and then once again at a hundred days. But it hadn't worked. They'd always been sideswiped. By some asshole no doubt.

But today Kurt managed to drive up to his favorite park and was pleased to discover that the grassy knoll was empty. Kurt turned the car off and got out without explanation.

He checked the trunk just in case.

He didn't know why he knew there'd be a picnic blanket.

But he took it out anyway and started running for the vast stretch of green grass in front of his car, only 100 yards away.

He hadn't been here since he flew kites with his mom the weekend before she died.

"Kurt! Hold up! Where are you _going_?"

Kurt whipped around and continued running backwards towards the park.

"Come on Blaine! We're having a picnic!" he shouted at his very confused boyfriend standing next to the car still.

"You're crazy!" Blaine shouted after him.

"Not quite!" Kurt replied giggling madly and turning to continue running towards the grass, facing forward.

Once he reached the center of the field, he dropped the blanket without unfolding it and started rolling around in the grass.

It was a warm day and the sun was shining down on his face. The grass was tickling his arms and legs and when he finally stopped rolling he laid there and let his fingers crawl through the individual blades, occasionally clenching the grass in fists.

And then he observed the sky. It may have been early, but damn, it was still warm. And there were plenty of clouds. Kurt could already see a turtle and a rabbit and a bear and…

"Kurt?"

Kurt felt a shadow fall over him and he tilted his head forward slightly to see Blaine approaching him. Blaine slowed as he reached Kurt's feet, stopping as he was only an inch away.

"Help me up?" Kurt asked, innocently enough.

Blaine obliged, reaching a hand towards Kurt. Kurt, instead, grabbed it and pulled Blaine down, forcing Blaine's knees to collide with the ground on either side of Kurt, the hand not holding Kurt's landing on the left side of Kurt's head in the grass.

Kurt smiled up at Blaine as Blaine slowly got over the shock of being pulled into the grass so forcibly.

"Oops" Kurt said, smiling deviously.

Blaine laughed and closed the foot of space between them, kissing Kurt's lips lightly, letting Kurt soak up the taste of medium drip and scone from Blaine's mouth.

"You totally did that on purpose."

Kurt just continued smirking at him. "Don't pretend you didn't love it."

Blaine just laughed again and rolled to Kurt's right, landing as close to Kurt as he could, decidedly not releasing Kurt's hand.

"I love _you_."

Kurt looked to his right. "I don't think I'll ever get tired of hearing that."

"Never _ever_?"

Kurt laughed. "Never ever."

"Well good. 'Cause I don't think I'll stop saying it."

"Promise?"

"Promise"

Kurt turned his attention back towards the sky and smiled to himself. Now Blaine had his own bargain to uphold.

They both laid there for what felt like hours, not saying anything. Kurt was soaking in the miracle that they'd even made it here, and Blaine, well Kurt didn't know about Blaine. But he seemed happy.

"Blaine?"

"Yeah Kurt?"

"What would you do if I died?"

Kurt thought it was an innocent enough question, but Blaine bolted upright and turned to Kurt, looking down very concerned.

"Why? What's happened? Is Karofsky picking on you again? Is…"

"Blaine! Blaine, no…" Kurt cut him off realizing just how terrible that sounded. He sat up, even with Blaine, and shifted his body to face him, their knees touching.

"I just, was curious I guess."

Blaine stared hard at his boyfriend, and Kurt was worried he'd scared him off forever.

"I don't know. I can't imagine. Why? Do you think about me dying?"

Kurt felt bad about lying through his teeth. But the truth was painful. "Of course not. I'd like to think of you alive" Kurt said, leaning forward slightly and meeting Blaine's lips in the middle of their sitting positions. Blaine's hand moved to Kurt's face and started towards his hair. Kurt immediately brought his hands up to Blaine's curls, fisting the hair there and pulling Blaine in tighter, more aggressively than he ever had before.

At Kurt's motion, Blaine took no hesitation in putting his hand fully in Kurt's hair, his other arm moving around Kurt's waist and pulling him closer.

Kurt gasped suddenly when the arm around his waist pulled him tight against Blaine, Blaine then taking advantage and lowering Kurt into the grass.

Kurt didn't take anytime readjusting, choosing instead to let his hands wander over Blaine's chest, hovering just a few inches over Kurt's. Blaine's hand had moved from around Kurt's waist to the grass next to Kurt, steadying himself as he hovered over Kurt.

Kurt wished that arm would move.

Blaine's hand that had been in his hair was moving down Kurt's side, tickling him only slightly, before staying at Kurt's waist, squeezing tightly there as Kurt's hand moved slowly from Blaine's chest to his waist as well.

He was pleasantly surprised to realize that in the midst of adjusting Kurt, Blaine's shirt had ridden up a little, leaving some of Blaine's midsection exposed.

Kurt moved his hands to explore the skin hiding there, but stopped when he felt Blaine breaking the kiss and pulling away from Kurt, sitting back, each leg placed on a side of Kurt, straddling him.

"Kurt, we can't do this- we can't just make out in a park! There could be kids!"

Kurt grabbed Blaine's collar and pulled Blaine towards him.

"There aren't any kids Blaine…"

But Blaine still grabbed Kurt's hand and gently removed it from his collar, smiling teasingly.

"Not here Kurt. Let's enjoy the day. We have _plenty _of time to enjoy each other later."

This time, it actually pained Kurt to realize how untrue that statement was.

Blaine stood up and stepped over Kurt towards the blanket he had thrown to the side earlier. He picked it up and spread it out over the grass, turning around once he was done and reaching a hand towards Kurt.

Kurt frowned at him and crossed his arms mockingly.

Blaine just kept smiling. "Come on Kurt, has there ever been a moment with so much to live for? You can have plenty of me later. The sun's out now. Come be with me. Come lay on your picnic blanket that you brought conveniently without a meal."

Kurt grabbed Blaine's hand instantly and laid down with his boyfriend on the blanket.

Blaine looked up at the sky, but Kurt continued to stare at him.

"Hey look! I think I actually see a canary! In that cloud! What can you see?"

Kurt just smiled at Blaine's enthusiasm.

I can see you, he said to himself, realizing the words had never been so true as they were now.

Blaine wasn't dying today.

No way.

"Will you stay here with me?" Kurt asked tentatively, his eyes never leaving Blaine.

Blaine looked over and stared at Kurt for a few seconds, running his eyes over the entirety of Kurt's features, finally resting on Kurt's eager eyes waiting for an answer.

"Of course."

Kurt snuggled up to Blaine, their hands still intertwined.

They stayed there all day, ignoring the heat, the time, and eventually, the clouds when darkness fell. They looked at stars and watched satellites cross the sky.

It was their day. And Kurt loved every moment of it.

As his eyes started to droop, one thing was for sure.

Blaine was alive.

* * *

><p><strong>DAY 201<strong>

Kurt opened his eyes and realized he was in his own room.

Kurt racked his brain instantly, making sure, _absolute_ sure that Blaine was alive when he'd fallen asleep. He had been.

Kurt knew it. He remembered. He didn't make that up.

As Kurt started to wake up, he realized something was very wrong. It was his room, but, it also wasn't.

There was an untouched toy construction truck in the corner next to a vast Barbie collection and a small table holding a tea set.

This was Kurt's room.

But it was his childhood room. It'd since been redecorated and the toys had been packed up.

Where was he?

Kurt made his way to the door, walking slowly towards the kitchen. He saw his dad sitting there, hovered over a bowl of cereal, a side plate of bacon near him. He also appeared to be reading the Sports section of the paper.

"Dad?" Kurt asked tentatively, unsure of what was happening.

His dad didn't move.

"Dad?" Kurt said, a little louder this time.

Burt still made no motion.

"Dad!" Kurt shouted at him, begging him in his mind to say something, anything.

"He can't hear you" a voice behind him said.

A woman with long brown hair and twinkling blue eyes walked up beside him. She too was watching Kurt's dad eat.

"Why not?" Kurt asked her.

"It's complicated."

"Then explain" Kurt said, a little too harshly.

The woman merely smiled a small smile, her eyes never leaving Burt.

Kurt kept quiet for a few seconds.

"What's going on?" Kurt finally asked.

"Did you enjoy your day with Blaine?" she asked, changing the subject.

Kurt looked at her, confused, but answered nonetheless. "Yeah, I did. It was a nice change of pace from him dying all the time."

The woman simply nodded.

Her eyes never left Burt.

"What're _you_ doing here?" Kurt asked.

"I don't know if you should know yet."

Kurt was even more confused. "And why's that?"

"You don't believe in God or heaven Kurt. You don't believe in anything. I don't know if you're ready to accept the truth."

Kurt practically scoffed at her. "If you _knew_ what I've seen in the past 200 days, you wouldn't be so quick to judge."

The woman just shook her head slightly, still smiling slightly.

"You don't know anything yet Kurt. You know nothing of pain. You know nothing of loss."

Kurt glared at her. "I have seen my boyfriend die 200 times. I've held him in my arms as he bled out. I've watched his car explode. I've sat next to him in a hospital. I'd say that I know _something_ of loss."

The woman said nothing.

Kurt's frown increased as he turned his attention back to his father.

Suddenly, Kurt felt a slight breeze on his side. He was about to look down, but he saw the source before he could.

His eight year old self was running towards the kitchen.

He was wearing his mini black fedora and his pair of white jeans with a white and black striped polo. His mini black combat boots made even teenage Kurt proud.

But only for a moment.

He knew that outfit. He never wore it again after this day. He retired the boots to his closet. He trampled the fedora until it had no shape. He simply had given away the shirt and pants.

His mom had died on this day.

"This was the day my mom died."

"Yes" the woman said sadly.

Kurt's attention stayed on his miniature self, straining to reach the countertop for an apple, and his dad quickly obliging and handing him one.

"What's going on?" Kurt asked for a second time.

"Kurt, I need to explain something and you need to listen."

Kurt nodded.

"I know you don't believe in God, but this is how it works. No one knows if God is involved or not, but it doesn't matter. Here are the facts."

The woman's attention never diverted from Kurt's dad and miniature Kurt, but Kurt nodded nonetheless.

"It's all about soulmates. When you die, you're forced to relive the last day you spent with your soulmate over and over again. But it's not eternity. It's only until your soulmate can join you. You relive the day over and over again until they die"

Kurt was frowning again. What did this have to do with him?

"Where you both go from there is unknown. What's controlling this is unknown. But that is certain. You _have_ to meet your soulmate in your lifetime, or the process is broken. They can't join you in the afterlife if they've never met you. Does that make sense?"

The woman still did not turn to face Kurt. Kurt nodded. "Yes."

"Good" she said without continuing.

But Kurt was still confused.

"But what does this have to do with me? I've only been to this day once" he said, motioning towards the kitchen.

But then it clicked. The woman's eyes began to tear up.

He'd been reliving a day over and over again. Blaine was dying too so Kurt didn't think about what was happening to him.

Maybe his mind had switched one major detail of the day. Maybe Blaine had never died. Maybe Kurt…

Kurt looked over at the kitchen scene and back to the crying woman. Everything was starting to make sense.

And that made it so much worse.

Silent tears were pouring down the woman's face and she didn't bother to wipe them away. She just watched the two men in the kitchen interact and laugh over breakfast as if nothing was different. As if everything was fine.

"Mom?" Kurt asked slowly.

The woman turned toward Kurt and gave him the biggest smile he'd seen so far. She covered her mouth as she saw Kurt's face for the first time since entering the room and the tears in her eyes seemed to increase.

Kurt looked at his mother for the first time in 8 years and was suddenly overwhelmed with so many questions.

But one specific, very pressing one.

"Mom," he said again. "Am I dead?"

* * *

><p><strong> So, thoughts? Concerns? Can't wait for the next chapter? Questions? Let me know.<strong>


	6. How Could I Ever Forget?

**Author's Note: **This is the second to last chapter if you include the epilogue. However, if you don't, this is it! In this chapter you'll find out what's been going on this entire time, and hopefully, you'll be satisfied with the resolution. This was how it was always meant to end.

Hope you've enjoyed the ride, because I know that I definitely have.

Also, sorry I took two days to write this one. I had someone else read it and I edited it several times. I wanted it perfect since it was the final piece.

* * *

><p>AN edit: I am so so so sorry! I was supposed to post this earlier, but my house flooded and we had to deal with all of that, so I'm sorry this is getting put up later than I promised! I hope everyone enjoys it though!

* * *

><p>Kurt suddenly felt panicked. He couldn't breathe. His breaths were coming in sharp gasps, and Kurt brought his hand up to his chest, squeezing hard. He couldn't <em>breathe<em>.

He was _dead_? After all of this thought of losing Blaine and living without him, living alone, forced to forget Blaine and push their memories to the back of his mind, and he was _dead_?

But that wasn't _fair_. Kurt didn't deserve this after all he had been through.

Kurt's mom reached out to touch Kurt's shoulder but Kurt backed away.

"Kurt…"

Kurt looked up at her and was surprised at the glare she was now receiving. He was _angry_. He didn't want to be dead. He was only 16! He had a life he was supposed to be living. He had gotten his first boyfriend for chrissakes! He'd never really been kissed until just 4 months ago, and he was supposed to be going to Broadway. He wanted to go to New York. He wanted to sing and act. He wanted to _live_.

"No! Get away from me!" Kurt said, backing away more.

"Kurt, wait, let me explain!"

Kurt was feeling practically hysterical now. "You don't need to explain! I get it! I just- I need some air, I need to-"

Kurt turned his head to the front door and his need to get some air amplified about a thousand times.

He looked back at his mom.

"Kurt, don't even think about it. Stay here, please let me explain…"

Kurt turned and made a run for it. He reached the door and yanked it open, sprinting towards the end of his sidewalk. Once he reached the end, he realized he had nowhere to go.

Kurt looked down the street he had grown up on. This had been his home for 16 years.

But now he was forced out of it. He didn't know if he'd ever see it again. Not after today.

Everything was about to change.

Kurt sat down on the end of the sidewalk, pulling his knees up to his chest, folded his arms, and laid them on top of his knees. His head was suddenly starting to feel really heavy.

Kurt laid it down on top of his arms.

What was even happening?

He was dead. He was really dead.

And so what? He was supposed to relive his last day on Earth? Or no… What had his mom said?

His last day with his soulmate?

Did that mean Blaine was his soulmate? Had Kurt died after their coffee shop date and Blaine survived? Did Kurt have to relive different versions of their last day together until finally, Blaine died?

Kurt couldn't help but give a slight smile at the thought.

If what his mom said was true, Blaine was his soulmate.

Soulmate was a nice thought.

But even that was temporary.

Kurt was dead. And he loved Blaine. And Blaine loved him.

And they were _soulmates_?

And Kurt was dead?

Kurt had to sit here knowing that he and Blaine were meant to be together and he couldn't do anything about it? What kind of afterlife was this?

Maybe this was hell. His mom had to be wrong, this was hell.

He had to watch Blaine, relive every day and none of it would be real. Kurt would know that.

He'd have to wait for Blaine to live out his days. He'd have to sit here and wait.

But if Kurt was alive, he'd have a life to spend with him. He'd have an entire lifetime with his soulmate.

He'd get to watch Blaine smile and laugh and sing to him. He'd get to watch him graduate and Blaine would do the same. Maybe they'd go to college together or near each other and then, with new marriage laws in New York, get married and happily live out their days.

But now? Blaine would be on his own. What if he met someone else? What if he was no longer Kurt's soulmate? Then what the hell was Kurt to do?

It was making Kurt very upset. His tears were pouring from his eyes and spilling onto his knees.

Screw it all. Kurt didn't want Blaine to go through _any_ of the pain he'd gone through. If Kurt was dead, that meant Blaine had to go to the funeral. He had to spend his nights with no one to call. He had to cry himself to sleep like Kurt had done several times.

Kurt didn't want that for Blaine.

They were too young to be forced so strongly apart.

"Kurt?"

Kurt jerked his head up. His mom was staring down at him from about 2 feet away.

"Is it alright if I sit?"

Kurt could only nod slightly. He felt bad about running out earlier. But he panicked. He had panicked.

Understandable really. He was dead after all.

Kurt's mom sat down next to him and pulled her knees up to her chest as well, hugging them tightly with her arms.

"This sucks Mom."

His mom was looking forward, across the street. Their neighbor's house was similar to theirs. But it didn't look like home.

"I'm so sorry Kurt."

Kurt rested his chin back onto his crossed arms. "It's not your fault. I suppose I should blame reckless driving in America."

Kurt's mom smiled slightly. "I think I'm the only one to blame actually."

Kurt looked at her. "Wait… I'm confused… You're dead, you couldn't kill me."

Kurt's mom was still smiling. "You're not dead Kurt."

Kurt's mouth fell slightly agape.

"What?"

"You're alive Kurt."

Kurt was beyond confused now. He jumped up suddenly, causing his mom to look over at him in shock.

"How can you say that? I've been reliving my last day with my "soulmate" like you said and that can only happen when you're dead! That's why you stay here with me and dad! You're stuck here and now I'm stuck at the Lima Bean! It's not fair for you to drag me around like this! I just- I want to be alive! I don't want to be dead! I want to be with Blaine! I love him!"

Kurt's mom stood up slowly. Kurt thought she might yell back, so he stood there waiting for the yelling he knew he deserved.

But instead his mom wrapped her arms around him tightly, squeezing him as if she'd never let go.

And before Kurt could stop himself, he was crying into his mom's shoulder, his arms wrapped around her as if he could never let go either.

"I know sweetie. But you're not dead. I promise I'm not lying about this. You're very much alive. And so is Blaine."

Kurt had stopped crying, but he still wasn't letting go. He dug his face deeper into his mom's shoulder.

"I don't understand. Why am I here? What's happening? Is this even real?" Kurt practically cried, squeezing her tight.

He heard his mom sigh slowly before answering him. "I know it's confusing Kurt. I'm so sorry I put you through this."

Kurt pulled back suddenly. "What do you mean, 'put me through this'?"

Kurt's mom sighed slowly and moved her arms to Kurt's shoulders, squeezing them softly. "Oh, Kurt… I'm so sorry."

Kurt looked at his mom momentarily before he reached up slowly, taking her hands in his, and removing them from their hold on his shoulders.

His mom looked sad for a second, but she seemed to understand.

"Mom. Just tell me what you're sorry about. What did you mean by 'put me through this'?"

Kurt's mom didn't answer immediately. She observed the expression on Kurt's face, and Kurt thought that her expression began to mirror his. Her face was etched with frown lines and a greatly masked fear. Kurt knew he had the same concern on his face.

He was scared.

He didn't know what was happening.

"This, Kurt. These past 200 days. I'm sorry. But I had to."

Kurt took a step back from his mother. He didn't understand.

"I didn't want to Kurt, but I needed to be sure. I needed _you_ to be sure."

Kurt was eyeing his mother warily at this point.

"Be sure of what exactly?"

Kurt's mom sighed. "I was scared Kurt."

"Scared of _what_?"

Kurt's mom looked away from Kurt, glancing in the direction of the house. Kurt followed her gaze to the window facing their kitchen. 8 year old Kurt was sitting on the counter grinning happily at his dad, laughing as his father smeared some jelly on his face. The eight year old rushed to the sink and wiped it off, scolding his father for getting some on his shirt. Burt just kept on laughing, much to the dissatisfaction of the kid in the fedora. Kurt smeared some jelly on Burt's shirt and Burt picked him up, holding him upside down to the delighted squeals of Kurt.

"I was scared you might not get all of this" she said, turning back towards Kurt with tears glistening in her eyes. "I wanted to make sure you'd be happy, that you'd be okay."

Kurt bit his lower lip slightly as he stared at his mother, evidently hesitant. "I'm sorry, I still don't quite understand."

"You got what I said about soulmates right?"

Kurt nodded.

"Your father is mine. I died and came here, to relive this day. I must admit, when I first realized I had died, I was panicked. My first thoughts were selfish. 'How will they survive without me?' I asked. 'How will they live?'"

Kurt nodded slowly. It was similar to how he'd felt. He didn't know how he'd go on. Even at eight, it felt like he was dying slowly.

"But then I realized, no matter how devastated your father was, eventually, he'd be okay. When he died, he would be reunited with me. We'd get to be together."

Kurt looked back towards the kitchen. His father was wiping the jelly off of his younger self's shirt while he stood there mercilessly giggling.

"My thoughts from there turned to a slightly less selfish sort. The instant I realized that your father would have the chance to heal and to recover, I stopped worrying about myself. I worried about him for awhile, yes. I knew he was devastated, yes. I couldn't see it, but I don't know Kurt, I can't explain it. I could _feel_ his pain. I knew he was hurt. I knew he was hurting. But somehow it was okay. I was trapped in this space, reliving the same day, but it was okay. Because eventually, your father would join me. So yes, I knew he was devastated, but I also knew eventually things would be alright."

Kurt found himself nodding although, really, he didn't quite understand. "I guess that part makes sense. You knew dad would be okay because even though you were stuck here reliving your last day with him, you knew eventually he would join you. Who told you all of this?"

Kurt's mom simply shrugged. "You just kind of know. I can't explain it to you since you haven't really died."

Kurt couldn't help smile slightly. "That's fair I guess."

Kurt's mom smiled back.

"I guess my question is what's my role in all of this? Why am I here? You said you were sorry you put me through this, but what does that mean?"

His mother's smile fell slightly. "Please don't be mad at me Kurt."

Kurt looked at his mother's scared expression, her hesitation and concern. He almost said he wouldn't be, but then he remembered the past 200 days. More specifically, he remembered the first of those 200 days. The only day out of all of those 200 days that he honestly thought that Blaine wasn't ever coming back. The only day when he was sure that he'd never kiss or hug Blaine again.

And it had been the worst feeling in the world. Yes, he remembered his mother dying, but this had been different. This had been as if something in both his heart and soul had died. He felt he would die from the sheer pain of it all.

"I can't promise that."

Kurt's mom nodded as if she had known that would be his answer. But she continued on despite Kurt's words.

"You've heard that I knew your father would be alright. He might grieve for awhile, but in the end, we'd be reunited. Your father would survive. But you Kurt" she said, placing her hand back on his shoulder and squeezing again. "I didn't know about you. I didn't know if you would be okay. I didn't know how you'd manage to go through the day. I didn't know if, at the end of it all, you'd have someone waiting for you."

Kurt's brow furrowed slightly as his face turned into a frown. "You were worried about me being alright? But what does that mean? What does any of this have to do with that?"

"I said it was all about soulmates. I knew Burt had his, and I knew I'd be waiting for him. But you Kurt, I didn't know if you'd find yours. And I wasn't about to let my son live on his life if I didn't know he'd be okay. I needed to make sure you'd be okay."

Kurt looked at her, aghast. "You wanted to see if Blaine was my soulmate?"

Kurt's mom smiled. "Yes. As silly as it sounds, I wanted to make sure you'd have someone. I know you're young, and I know you still have a lot to learn about love, but I thought that this might be it. He might be the one."

"But I don't understand. What has all of this been? This reliving of the day Blaine died? And _you_ did all this? I'm sorry, but I don't get it."

"Yes Kurt, I did this. It took me awhile to figure out how to do it, and I'm afraid I can't explain it to you _exactly_ how it works, but yes. I forced you to relive a day in your life over and over again. The worst day of your life."

Kurt was glad he hadn't promised to not get angry. Because he was pissed.

Kurt yanked his mom's hand off his shoulder and started backing away, more determined than before.

"_You_ had me watch Blaine die over and over again for what? For what? So you see if maybe he's my soulmate? How on _earth _does that help you? And why? Why did you feel the need to fuck up my life so that you could maybe have a chance at seeing me happy when I die? Guess what mom? I'm not happy now! I'm miserable! I've watched Blaine die again and again and I couldn't do anything! I tried! I spent my nights crying myself to sleep wishing I could die too! Why did you do this to me? Why did you torture me like this? What did this _prove_?"

Kurt's mom swallowed and reached a hand up to wipe the solitary tear running down her cheek.

"You _stayed_ Kurt."

"What?" Kurt spat at her.

"You stayed Kurt. You stayed with him. You really love him."

Kurt was astounded. "Of course I love him! I'm not some wishy-washy half-brained teenager who says I love you to every guy I ever meet! Blaine's special! You didn't have to put me through half a year of agony to prove that I loved Blaine!"

She stood there a moment, breathing slowly before she responded. "I had to make sure you were sure. I needed to know you loved him. I needed you to know it."

"What are you _talking_ about? Are you _insane_?"

"Kurt… I don't think you understand, you stayed."

"What does that _mean_?"

"No one stays Kurt."

Kurt took pause. His blood was still rushing and his mind was racing and he found his breath catching in his throat.

"No one stays? Who're you talking about?"

"You're not the first one to go through this test Kurt. Did you really think you were that special?"

Kurt was surprised. His mom smiled.

"I mean, you're special to me. But you're not the first to be given this test by someone already dead. But you are the first to pass."

"To pass this test? By what, by staying?"

Kurt's mom nodded, still smiling. "I know I said all that stuff about soulmates, but I failed to mention, it's rare. It's not commonplace. People get to spend their afterlife with their soulmates, but only if they find them first. And most people don't. Most people just pass this step in the process and go on, to wherever that is. Few people get a real opportunity to wait for their soulmate. Your father and I are lucky" she said, turning back towards the house.

Burt was putting the straps on Kurt's backpack on his shoulder while Kurt was still laughing at his father's jokes.

Kurt followed his mother's gaze and watched is smaller self readjust his fedora. "But the test… I passed by staying?" His mother nodded, still not looking away. "That's it?"

His mother laughed. "You say that like it was easy for you."

"Well, it wasn't. But I thought plenty of times about breaking up with him" Kurt paused. "I even thought that killing him might break the pattern. I forgot to say I love you to him once."

Kurt's mom raised a single eyebrow, very much in the same fashion Kurt knew he was accustomed to doing. "But that wasn't on purpose Kurt, and you know it."

"I got angry though and I made him not want to say it. And I didn't say it."

"And you regretted it every day after that didn't you?"

Kurt swallowed.

"And you promised him in your head that you'd never forget to say it again didn't you?"

Kurt looked away.

"And you made him tell you that he'd never stop saying it either."

Kurt turned around, his back to his mother.

"And you stayed with him every time he died, sometimes putting your own life on the line, didn't you?"

Kurt brought a hand to his face to stop the tears from rolling down his cheeks.

"And no matter how many times he died, you stayed with him. You sat at his bed side telling him stories about how much you loved him and how you'd never leave. No matter how many times you cried yourself to sleep or put yourself through a car crash or an explosion or surgery, you never broke up with Blaine. You never permanently left him. Not once."

"That's not true" Kurt said, trying to keep his voice steady. "I went home once."

"And then you went straight to the hospital and stayed by his side despite the fact that he was already gone. And you knew he was. You knew he was done. But you stayed Kurt. Time and time again."

"Okay, so what? Nobody else stays?"

"No."

Kurt turned back towards his mother. His eyes were still watering, but he had to admit, he didn't quite know why.

"So, what? I stayed and that means he's my soulmate? Somebody else had to have stayed. Just one other person."

"No. No one else stayed. Everybody takes the easy way out. A break up, a divorce, anything to set them free. People like to believe they're doing it for their partner. But they're not. Because…"

"Because the partner doesn't know what's going on."

Kurt's mom smiled. "Exactly. You never left because you knew it would break Blaine's heart. You stayed because you love him and because he loves you. And it was that simple to you. You didn't need other complications. You didn't try to look into why you were there so much as how you could get out. But not by yourself. You wanted out with Blaine, and that's what makes you special."

"I don't understand."

"You never looked at the situation as how do I get out, but rather, how do _we_ get out. Blaine means the world to you. And you never forgot that."

Kurt suddenly smiled to himself. "Does that make Blaine my soulmate?"

His mother took a step towards Kurt, closing the distance Kurt had made when he became angry.

"It's quite possible. Very probable. The important thing is that you have a shot. A good shot. And there's a good chance that Blaine is your soulmate. At least, I'm satisfied enough with the results."

Kurt laughed, more as a reflex then actually knowing how to react. "The results? So I passed your test?"

This time, his mom laughed. "If you'd like it to seem as simple as that. Yes, you passed."

"But you still don't know if Blaine is my soulmate or whatever?"

"No, I don't. But you've showed me that he has a good chance of being yours. And if he's not? You've shown me that you have enough love in your heart, and you're caring enough, that you will find someone. That way, when you do die, I'll be comforted to know you won't be going on alone."

"And you don't know where that is? Going 'on'"

"Sorry my dear. That's a mystery to us all."

Kurt smiled at her. "Is this all in my head?"

"You're not crazy."

"But it could still be all in my head."

"I promise you, it's not."

"But this is _insane_" Kurt said, laughing. "How often does this happen?"

"More often than you might think."

Kurt paused. "But what now? I go back and live on knowing I could be with Blaine forever?"

It actually didn't sound that bad to Kurt.

Kurt's mother smiled why shaking her head. "Of course not."

Kurt was a bit taken aback. "But you said I wasn't dead. And Blaine's not dead is he?"

"Not at all."

"Then I don't understand."

"You say that quite a lot you know."

Kurt raised his eyebrows and looked at her exasperatedly.

"Okay, sorry."

"Please explain it to me."

Kurt's mother sat down on the edge of the sidewalk once again. Kurt sat down next to her and put his arm around her, squeezing her in a sort of sideways hug.

"You do get to go back Kurt, but you won't remember any of this."

"Then what was the point?"

"Purely selfish I have to admit. Your father is likely to die before you, and then we shall go on. I'd have no idea if you'd be alright. This test was my way of finding out if you'd be alright. And now that I know, you can go back and live your life. Live it with Blaine or without, either way, I think you'll end up okay. After all, you're a Hummel. And we Hummels pride ourselves on being very resilient."

Kurt smiled at her comforting words, the tears in his eyes gathering once again.

"It's been hard without you mom. Not all the kids at school are understanding."

This time, it was his mother who wrapped her arms around Kurt, pulling him towards her in a tight hug.

"I know sweetie, and I'm so so sorry. I wish I could've been there when you told your father and I wish I was there to watch you sing for Glee Club and I wish I was there to give you advice on your first boyfriend. I know it's been hard on you and your father, but he really is trying so hard."

"Yeah, I know he is. He's doing a great job, but we both miss you sometimes."

"I miss you two more than you can ever know. But your father's got Carole," Kurt looked up at her suddenly, surprised. "Yes, Kurt. I know about Carole. And it's fine. I'm glad he's not lonely anymore. Plus with that, you get a brother. And you have a boyfriend. You have a lot of people who love you."

Kurt smiled at her, finding it hard to keep his tears back any longer.

"But I miss you so much Mom. I think about you every day. I wish you hadn't died."

Kurt's mom paused for a second, giving Kurt a gentle squeeze.

"I wish I hadn't died either. But in the end, I think it'll all work out. We'll all be okay."

Kurt nodded, laying his head on his mother's shoulder.

"What happens now?"

"Now you go back."

"To the coffee shop?"

"Yes. But this time, Blaine doesn't die. This time, you go on with your lives. Whatever path you take is your choice."

"But I won't remember any of this?"

"Afraid not. That's not the deal. You've put my worries to rest, and now, now you can just be with your boyfriend, soulmate or not. I'm sure you two will have a great time together" she added with a wink.

Kurt blushed. "So you like him?"

Kurt's mom planted a kiss on the top of his head. "He's perfect for you. I couldn't be happier for you."

Kurt smiled at that and gave his mother a tight hug in return.

And suddenly, he was sobbing.

"I don't want to forget you Mom, I _just_ got to see you again. I don't want to lose you for a second time."

His mom pulled him even closer, squeezing him as tightly as possible. She was crying too. "I know sweetie, but you won't remember this, you'll forget and go on as you were."

"But I don't _want_ to! It's not fair."

"Life's rather unfair darling, but if you stay here with me, you leave Blaine. And your father. And your friends."

Kurt squeezed his mother as if he'd never let go.

"I love you so much Mom. I love you _so _much. I'm sorry I got angry about all of this. I was just scared. I was scared I was losing the first guy I've ever really loved and, I'm sorry I yelled."

"I love you too Kurt" she responded, ignoring his apologies, letting Kurt know that she never really blamed him at all.

Kurt swallowed and buried his face in his mother's shoulder, remembering how her perfume smelled and how no matter how sad he was or how many people had shouted insults at him or bullied him, she could always make him feel better.

"Are you ready to go back?"

Kurt pulled away from his mother, no longer crying, but his face was far from dry.

"I think so."

His mom smiled at him for the last time.

"You're ready. And you are going to have a great life Kurt. I can't wait for you to experience it all."

Kurt smiled at her. "You really think so?"

His mom laughed and raised her hand, her pointer finger outstretched; tapping him on the nose one time as she had done so many times when he was a boy.

"I _know_ so."

And everything went white.

* * *

><p>"It sounds like New York was amazing Kurt, I'm so glad you got to go."<p>

Kurt looked up at Blaine.

"It was amazing! I got to go to a Broadway stage and sing my heart out, I had Breakfast at Tiffany's and I got to compete at Nationals! Granted, Rachel and Finn may have ruined it for everyone, but that's alright."

"You really don't care that you lost?"

Kurt smiled at Blaine. "Of course not. I got to go to the greatest city on earth. I got to live the dream. It was incredible."

Blaine smiled and nodded at Kurt's words. "Even though you lost."

Kurt laughed and leaned forward, punching Blaine in the arm slightly. "Would you stop saying that? There are more important things than winning."

Blaine simply smiled. "If you say so."

Kurt couldn't help but smile too. At the beginning of this year, Kurt would have said nothing of the sort. He would have fought Rachel for every solo and he would be beyond pissed off that she and Finn lost them Nationals. He would have jumped straight to Jesse's side, relentlessly yelling at them as well. At the hotel, he would have been screaming alongside Santana, because at the beginning of this year, winning was the only thing that mattered to Kurt.

"What're you thinking about?" Blaine asked Kurt, smiling as he took his hand.

Kurt bit his lip as the corners of his mouth curled up. "Kurt Hummel has had a pretty good year."

Despite all of the bullying, the threats, the rejection from his classmates, a mid-year transfer, his father getting re-married, losing Nationals on one team and Regionals on another, despite it all, Kurt was happy. He had Blaine.

And for some reason, Kurt couldn't say why, that was all he needed.

Blaine made him happy. Blaine made him brave. He gave him courage. Kurt didn't care about going to school and facing the slushies, because he knew when he got out, Blaine would be waiting in his car for Kurt.

For the first time ever, Kurt got the strong sense that his future would be better than his past. His future looked so very bright. And he was actually looking forward to it.

All because of Blaine.

Blaine had taken his life at the very edge and turned it around, made him look up. Kurt found himself actively seeking a future.

And it was a change he liked.

"Kurt?"

Kurt pulled his head out of his thoughts and looked to Blaine. "Blaine?"

"I love you."

Kurt suddenly got a strange sensation in his gut. A very strong sense of déjà vu. But it was more than that. This _had_ happened before. This was real. Blaine was saying I love you.

But why did Kurt feel like it wasn't the first time?

He looked at Blaine's face, observing Kurt's and trying to gauge a reaction.

Kurt saw the courage Blaine had taken to say those three words and his subtle yet present fear that Kurt's feelings might not be returned.

He saw that Blaine meant those words through and through.

Kurt shook off the nagging sensation that this had happened already and stood up out of his seat, leaned forward, and kissed Blaine, tasting every bit of medium drip that had been there just moments ago.

Kurt released Blaine, leaned back and fell down in his seat.

Blaine sat across from him, his mouth slightly agape and his face wearing a very strong expression of shock.

Kurt smirked at the surprise he placed on his boyfriend and raised his eyebrows in a very confident manner.

Blaine's face slowly changed from shock to a face of bemusement.

Kurt just grinned.

"I love you too."

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** So that's it. That's the end. I hope you all liked it! And I hope everything was resolved.

If I get enough requests for an epilogue, I just might write one… I'll probably write one anyway.

Please review with your thoughts and questions!


	7. One Day More: Epilogue

**A/N: **I must confess that I cried while writing this. Beginnings and middles are always easy, but endings are hard. After that, it's over, and you can't change it.

But I worked hard writing an ending for these boys, so I hope you find it satisfactory.

I wrote this chapter more from both of their perspectives rather than just Kurt's, so Blainers, eat your hearts out.

With that out of the way, here it is. The end.

* * *

><p>The last week of Kurt's junior year went by pretty fast. Kurt didn't pay much attention anyway, but he had to admit, the one perk was having Blaine waiting for him after school every day. That beaming face drove Kurt straight to the Lima Bean every day to enjoy their identical drinks. Kurt couldn't even remember what he had been ordering originally. A medium drip was ten times better.<p>

Summer before senior year was blissful enough. A day where Kurt didn't see Blaine, he considered a day wasted. And he didn't waste any of his summer days.

There were some barbeques with New Directions, some swimming in the local park's pool, and scouting for any place that would sell them sno cones.

They'd swing together on an old swing set they found while Kurt jokingly chastised Blaine for thinking a grape slushie was superior to a cherry one. But Blaine would let him win that fight.

No matter how many times they had it.

Two months into their summer, Blaine admitted he had a confession to make.

Dalton had grown to be a bit much. There were a lot of rules and uniforms and sometimes, he couldn't stand it.

Kurt smiled to himself when Blaine said offhandedly that McKinley might be an alright place to shift to for senior year.

A week before school Blaine was in a panic because, yes, he had been wearing a uniform for years. Street clothes weren't his thing.

And Kurt would jump on any opportunity to go shopping, regardless of how interested his partner actually was.

By the first day, Blaine actually looked like he might fit in. Minus the hand he had intertwined with Kurt's.

First day, first slushie. Luckily Blaine got grape.

Kurt laughed as his boyfriend's eyes were screwed shut, complaining about the horrible stinging that even his favorite syrup provided. But Kurt wiped every bit of slushie off of his face, choosing to kiss him on his lips instead of wiping away the syrup with a towel.

And he didn't mind that it wasn't cherry.

McKinley was an odd transition for Blaine. It was different. He'd become comfortable in his safe bubble at Dalton. But anytime he began to get worried or fear another slushie, he just had to reach out his hand and Kurt was there.

He was always there.

Sometimes it would get them more slushies than usual, and the lockers slowly became familiar to the feeling of Kurt and Blaine colliding with them.

But they stayed strong. Because they had each other.

However, not all things went according to plan.

Senior year meant college applications.

Kurt instantly got into UCLA and Pace while Blaine got into Boston and was wait-listed at Berkeley.

Kurt chose to go to Pace and Blaine picked Boston.

They were going to be only a train ride apart.

Kurt was unbelievably giddy, and Blaine was only slightly saddened that he didn't get into his dream school.

Blaine asked Kurt to prom this year.

Kurt didn't wear the kilt this time.

They danced the night away and the evening was entirely magical. Kurt promised himself he'd never forget the feeling of Blaine holding him close, whispering that he loved him and couldn't wait to head off to the northeast with him.

Kurt could hardly wait.

But May changed things for the both of them.

Blaine showed up at Kurt's house one day, standing on the doorstep, both excited and scared. Their future was changing.

Kurt opened the door and greeted Blaine, giving him a hug before he realized that Blaine was holding an envelope.

It'd already been ripped open.

Kurt looked at Blaine confused as Blaine smiled but with a guilty look.

Berkeley had rescinded their wait-list status on Blaine's application. He'd been accepted.

Kurt found the tears rising to his eyes as he begged Blaine, no, no, he couldn't go. They'd be across the country from each other. Kurt could go to UCLA, he'd tell them he changed his mind and that he no longer wanted to go to Pace, Kurt begged Blaine through tears to let him go to California with him.

But Blaine just held Kurt and said no. They'd promised to never let each other come between their dreams.

Blaine's dream was Berkeley and Kurt's was Pace.

And their distance was a nation.

The following months went by faster than either would have liked. They spent every moment together that they could manage. For the first time, they were both skipping school. They'd leave to find any moment they could with each other.

Because in their hearts they knew it was ending. But neither of them wanted it to.

Kurt started later than Blaine, so he flew with him to Berkeley to help him move in.

Kurt couldn't step foot in the dorm without bawling. Blaine hugged him close and promised him it wasn't the end, they'd call, they'd write, they'd see each other on the breaks.

But Kurt didn't stop crying. Kurt couldn't stop crying. There was something telling him that this was supposed to be forever. But it was ending, right there on the steps to Blaine's home for the next 4 years.

Blaine said he loved Kurt and that it couldn't be over, but Kurt pulled away, tears no longer falling.

He told Blaine it was. They'd still be friends, but they'd be a country apart. And Kurt was done pining after men he couldn't have.

Blaine hadn't expected that, and it was his turn to cry in Kurt's arms.

Five years later Kurt was picking up jobs here and there, some off-Broadway and some usher positions on.

Blaine had made it into law school at Harvard.

He thought about calling Kurt, but was surprised when he didn't.

It hurt too much.

Five years was a long time.

Kurt still kept a picture of him and Blaine at prom. He found himself saying I love you to it every night. He didn't know why, but it felt important. It felt like a silent promise he'd made from long ago.

Seven years later Blaine was celebrating his 30th birthday on a rooftop at CAA, finally making his break into the entertainment business, just not in the way he'd imagined.

Kurt had gotten a couple of supporting roles on Broadway and was making his way onto TV.

Kurt was engaged.

Blaine was married.

Trevor was Blaine's first client.

Connor was Kurt's first agent.

Kurt and Blaine would never get to learn of the irony.

Three years later McKinley had their 15 year reunion.

Kurt had a photoshoot in LA. Blaine had a premiere in New York.

Kurt scrolled through his contacts and stopped at the Bs.

Connor asked who he was calling. Kurt said no one and threw his phone aside.

Blaine sat at his computer screen with a blank new message on the screen.

Trevor asked who he was writing. Blaine said no one and closed his laptop.

Five years later Burt Hummel died.

Kurt left his first starring role on TV to fly back to Lima.

Connor was tied up in LA.

Blaine booked a flight the second he heard the news.

Trevor said he was sorry he couldn't go, but you can't walk away from Broadway.

Kurt stood at the grave even after everyone else had left. Even after Carole was gone. He didn't cry, he was numb.

At his mother's funeral, he'd held his father's hand.

But here? He didn't know what to do now his father was gone.

Blaine's flight was delayed.

Kurt flew back to LA.

Blaine arrived a day after the funeral and sat at Burt's grave all day, saying he was sorry.

He didn't know what for.

Blaine flew back to New York.

Kurt never went to get coffee with Connor again.

Blaine started drinking tea.

Ten years later McKinley had another reunion.

Kurt brought his adopted twins.

Blaine sent a letter saying he was sorry he couldn't make it.

He picked up his phone and typed in a familiar number.

He closed his phone when Trevor asked if he was ready to leave.

Twenty years later Blaine was able to make it to a high school reunion.

Rachel talked about how all good actors have to meet a tragic end.

Kurt's picture was on the memorial board.

Seven years later, Trevor laid a white rose on a grave.

* * *

><p>Blaine opened his eyes and immediately shut them because of the blinding white light. He felt a hand wrap around his and pull him to his feet.<p>

"Finally. I've been waiting long enough."

Blaine's eyes flew open at the sound of Kurt's voice.

Blaine's vision was immediately clouded by tears of both happiness and shock.

"Kurt?"

An eighteen-year-old Kurt smiled back at him.

"You didn't really think I was going to spend an eternity without you, did you?"

Blaine just laughed as the tears ran down his face.

"But I'm dead!"

Kurt shrugged. "Me too."

"You say it like it's not a big deal."

Kurt couldn't help but smirk at that.

"Trust me, it's not."

Blaine just smiled and squeezed the hand intertwined with his.

"So what now?"

Kurt couldn't help but smile. Blaine just knew _so_ little. What happened after their deaths. Where Kurt had woken up. Blaine couldn't possibly know. He didn't know about Berkeley. That Kurt kept reliving it. His last day with Blaine. That Blaine was his soulmate. Blaine's oblivious. He didn't know that Kurt had been waiting for him. For Blaine. Blaine didn't know. At 16 Kurt had always known he'd end up here. Even on his wedding day. On those steps at Berkeley, Kurt had known it wasn't really goodbye. But Blaine, he didn't know that despite the fact they'd been apart, they were always going to end up here together, holding hands at the gate to a final destination that neither knew where the entrance would take them, but not caring because after all, they were together – They'd been separated at 18, but now they had eternity.

Now they had forever.

Kurt leaned forward and planted a kiss on Blaine's cheek.

"Let's go see."

Blaine turned slowly towards the white door. "This is it isn't it?"

Kurt nodded, dragging Blaine towards the shiny brass handle. Before Kurt turned it, he looked back towards Blaine.

He wanted to say he was sorry. He wanted to say he'd always kept their prom picture. He wanted to tell him he'd never drinken any slushie flavor but grape and that he'd never gotten the taste for a coffee that wasn't medium drip. He wanted to say that he'd never been able to look at another canary without remembering a bedazzled coffin and briefly rehearsed Hey Monday song. He wanted to say that Maroon 5 never sounded the same and that dancing on furniture never seemed so unforced. He wanted to say that a life on Broadway and TV was nothing in comparison to what a life with Blaine would have been like. He wanted to apologize for not ignoring Blaine and going to UCLA despite his protests. He wanted to say sorry for the phone calls he never made and the emails he never sent and for never reaching out. He wanted to say sorry for it all.

But Kurt just took both of Blaine's hands in his as Blaine looked very confused.

"I love you Blaine Anderson."

Blaine's expression quickly changed to a smirk as if he had known all along and he released one of Kurt's hands and reached for the handle, twisting it.

"Damn. I wanted to say that first."

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** I know this might not be the ending that some of you imagined or what you might have pictured happening, but I tend to approach things realistically rather than how I wish they'd perfectly work out. In the end, they got each other, and to me, the journey wasn't so important as the destination was.

And they made it.


	8. A Heart Full of Love: Alternate Epilogue

Author's Note: So after many, many reviews wishing me to change the ending and the edition of new information with season 3, (i.e. Blaine being a junior) I have decided to write an alternate ending.

This in no way represents that I didn't like the original one, I just thought it would be nice to my readers to give them an ending they might desire more. So here goes.

* * *

><p>As junior year came to a close for Kurt, he had a lot of time to reflect about the things that had changed in his time at McKinley's high school. But more so, he reflected on the times he wasn't at McKinley.<p>

Kurt had loved being at Dalton and seeing Blaine every day, and as the last week of junior year passed, Kurt liked to reflect on those times the most.

So summer became just that. Lots of late nights and sleepovers and waking up to Blaine smiling at him, but more often waking up to him slobbering on his pillow, a small content smile on his face. Kurt loved making breakfast for Blaine and catching fireflies with him and even attending a New Directions barbecue or two.

As summer drew to a close, Kurt had a confession to make. He wanted his senior year to be special. And nothing felt special without Blaine.

And as he started his junior year, Blaine had no problem obliging Kurt's small wish.

McKinley started off pretty well for Blaine. He skirted through the first semester without one slushie.

There were school musicals, class elections, college applications, gay bars, and most of all, Kurt and Blaine's first time. It was everything they'd both hoped it would be, even though it took the snarky Sebastian to push them towards it.

After Christmas, college applications started coming back. Kurt sat on his bed alone with tears in his eyes as he read NYADA's rejection. Blaine came in and wrapped his arms around him and whispered it was going to be okay.

A week later Blaine had a small confession to make: He'd submitted an application to FIT for Kurt.

And he'd gotten in.

Kurt squeezed the ever-living daylights out of Blaine until he could barely breathe anymore with loud shrieks cutting between "I can't believe you did this!" and "Thank you thank you thank you!"

Blaine hugged him back with but one small regret.

Kurt was going to New York now.

Graduation came and Blaine had to say goodbye to a great majority of his friends. He was left at McKinley with only Tina and Artie now.

That summer was pretty similar to the last. They both discovered many more firsts, and had plenty of times to repeat firsts they'd already discovered.

But as the summer drew to a close, Blaine got sadder. Kurt got sadder. They both knew it was ending. Distance is a bitter betrayer of the best of relationships.

Blaine drove up with the Hummels in a minivan that Kurt whined couldn't _possibly_ hold all the clothes he would need.

They spent the trip in New York doing every stereotypical tourist activity. Blaine insisted on taking pictures on top of the Empire State, Rockefeller, Statue of Liberty, Times Square and Kurt begged him to stop.

But Blaine had never been to New York before.

Kurt's family left a day before Blaine. Blaine had gotten the idea of buying a ticket and just flying home.

The dorm room at FIT was empty except for Kurt's bags, as Kurt's roommate had not moved in yet.

They spent their last night together amid laughs from memories of the past and nervous thoughts about the future. But Blaine was the first to say it.

He was the first to ask if they were over.

Kurt took a deep breath and let out a deep sigh.

He knew they were. But he didn't want them to be.

He took Blaine's hands in his and smiled at his boyfriend. He pulled him in for a deep kiss and pulled Blaine close to him, trying to imprint the feeling of Blaine permanently onto his brain. He wanted to remember everything about him.

He didn't want to forget. Not ever.

Blaine drew back and looked at Kurt with those puppy eyes that Kurt knew would haunt him.

"Kurt. Just tell me. Yes or no? Are you in this or not?"

Kurt bit his bottom lip and took both of Blaine's hands in his.

"Blaine Anderson. I love you. I always have."

Blaine pulled his hand back and glared at Kurt angrily.

"Kurt!"

Kurt sighed again and scooted closer to Blaine, not taking his hands this time.

"I know. I know. It's just- I love you, I do, but I don't-"

Blaine's facial expressions softened as he grabbed Kurt's hands this time.

"You don't know how to make it work."

Kurt nodded, closing his eyes and letting his tears fall. He felt Blaine's fingers brush the tears off of his skin.

Blaine didn't know what to say. Truth be told, he'd hoped that Kurt would have the answer.

"I don't either."

Kurt looked up at him and nodded sadly.

"Promise you'll call. I don't know where we'll be in a year, but promise you'll call."

Blaine didn't answer as he drew Kurt in for a kiss. Between both of them was a strong sense of desperation and longing and the sense that maybe, things wouldn't be okay.

Kurt dropped Blaine off at the airport the next day. They only hugged goodbye this time.

Even though they'd left things very open-ended, and even though Sebastian still went steadily after Blaine, and even though there were _plenty_ of men interested in Kurt in New York, neither felt right dating someone else.

They still talked once a week at least, but more often than not, it was every day.

Blaine graduated with honors and Kurt went back for the ceremony.

They hadn't seen each other in awhile and it was fairly awkward.

Blaine spotted Kurt first, sitting with Mike watching Tina graduate.

Blaine raised a hand and waved slowly. Kurt spotted him and waved back.

Blaine lowered his hand and stalled for a moment. He was on stage with the rest of his class about to receive his diploma and everyone was watching him, including his own parents.

But he decided that for once in his life, he didn't care.

He leapt off the stage and ran to the seat, tackling Kurt so hard that the chair fell backwards.

"Kurt Hummel I love you!" Blaine shouted as he kissed his ex-boyfriend more fiercely than he had in his entire life.

As Blaine finally drew away Kurt tried to regain his breath.

He smirked at Blaine and drew him in for another kiss.

This time when he pulled back he just shook his head and said, "I love you too."

Blaine and Kurt had another great summer together with no nights apart.

But Blaine had to move into his dorm at UC Berkeley before Kurt had to return to FIT.

They sat side by side on Blaine's still unmade bed.

"So." Blaine said.

"So." Kurt replied.

Blaine put his hand on top of Kurt's and squeezed.

"Here we are again."

Kurt simply nodded in response.

"Kurt, what are we going to do?"

Kurt just sighed and slowly intertwined his fingers with Blaine's.

"Weekly phone calls and Skype chats I suppose."

Blaine nodded.

"You think that'll work?"

Kurt turned to Blaine with a sad smile.

"It'll have to."

And the next 4 years went by in similar fashion.

Kurt graduated a year before Blaine as planned and got himself a very prestigious internship at Vogue.

Blaine went to graduate school at Columbia even though he told Kurt when they were older that he thought Berkeley was a better choice.

Blaine went to work as an entertainment lawyer at a prestigious firm upon graduation and he and Kurt quickly moved in together and a year later Blaine proposed at Katz's Café, the meeting place of Harry and Sally.

Kurt was glad to discover that, yes, indeed, they do get together in the end.

It took them 5 years to get the adoption papers together, but they were blessed with a baby boy and girl twins.

Kurt convinced Blaine that they would both be murdered if the girl wasn't named Rachel Barbara Hummel-Anderson.

Blaine eventually got Kurt to compromise to Rachel Barbara Anderson-Hummel.

The boy was named Alexander Burt.

Kurt just couldn't allow his favorite designer to go unnoticed.

They moved into the suburbs of New York after Kurt became an assistant editor and Blaine made partner.

Rachel grew up taking ballet and singing lessons although both of her fathers agreed she didn't need them.

Blaine jokingly blamed Kurt and said she took after her namesakes.

Surprisingly, Alexander was very interested in sports.

He stopped his sister from getting slushied too often in high school.

Alexander went to his father, Blaine's, alma mater on a full ride football scholarship.

Rachel followed her first namesake straight to Broadway. Her first show was with the legendary Mrs. Berry herself.

Her two fathers were in the first row, Kurt mouthing the words and Blaine wiping the tears off of his face.

But Kurt was unlucky. He lived long enough to walk Rachel down the aisle and play with Alexander's kids.

But soon after that he was in the hospital. The cancer spread fast.

Blaine sat by his husband's side every day. In the final weeks, Kurt deteriorated quickly.

But he never stopped smiling and saying I love you.

It felt important for some reason.

At Kurt's funeral Blaine could barely read out the epitaph.

Blaine retired and settled down to a life of playing with kids and watching performances on stage.

But just ten years later, Blaine died too.

Alexander and Rachel buried him next to Kurt and brought flowers once a week.

* * *

><p>Blaine opened his eyes to a blinding white light. He shielded his eyes quickly and squeezed them shut, trying to gain sense of his surroundings.<p>

"Finally. I've been waiting a decade or so."

Blaine's eyes flung open to see Kurt, circa senior year. He was flashing his winning grin as he reached out a hand to help Blaine up.

"Kurt… I- What're you doing here?"

Kurt smiled like Blaine was being oblivious.

"What did you think forever meant?"

"But I'm dead!"

Kurt laughed.

"Me too."

"You say it like it's not a big deal."

Kurt couldn't help but smirk at that.

"Trust me, it's not."

Blaine just smiled and squeezed the hand intertwined with his.

"So what now?"

Kurt smiled. Blaine didn't know anything. He didn't know that after all those years ago Kurt had relived Blaine's death over and over again. That from that day on he had know somewhere deep down that Blaine was the one. Now that Kurt had died, he remembered when he had to relive Blaine's death and how he had discovered that Blaine was it. Blaine was forever.

Blaine had no idea that from the moment on that staircase that it was going to be forever.

Forever.

Kurt liked the sound of that.

Kurt leaned forward and planted a kiss on Blaine's cheek.

"Let's go see."

Blaine turned slowly towards the white door. "This is it isn't it?"

Kurt nodded, dragging Blaine towards the shiny brass handle. Before Kurt turned it, he looked back towards Blaine.

Kurt wanted to thank Blaine. He wanted to tell him just how much he had enjoyed every single moment of their lives together. He wanted to tell him about how his heart had skipped a beat the first time Blaine kissed him after Pavarotti died. He wanted to say everything he felt his vows hadn't and he wanted to remind Blaine of how they both had felt when they saw their children for the first time. He wanted to remember every single I love you and every single kiss.

But Kurt just took both of Blaine's hands in his as Blaine looked very confused.

"I love you Blaine Anderson."

Blaine's expression quickly changed to a smirk as if he had known all along and he released one of Kurt's hands and reached for the handle, twisting it.

"Damn. I wanted to say that first."


End file.
